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James has been very lovely this week. The night after meeting his folks he got tipsy and in the mood to talk about feelings stuff. He went on a romantic rampage, telling me what it means to him to be with me. My relationship with James ramped up a notch when I visited Elemental, although he's...

Brief update: I had a girl-style Raven-style meltdown on Friday. I lost control of my emotions (UGH I hate that) and got so anxious and wound up that I had to go to bed. Poor James, I apologized to him a zillion times and told him it wasn't his fault, but that I was paralyzed by my lady-times...

I totally agree with this approach, and with what London said above about some people having to constantly process because they're unwilling to recognize that they don't "belong" together. My partner James has tons of stress in his life and part of my awareness going into dating him was the...

Your post made me feel sad. I hate that our society tells us that sex and love should be restricted. It sounds like you are feeling that pressure quite deeply. It's normal for people to care what others think. I've found that the stronger my own self-esteem, the less emphasis I put on what...

I've had a couple of "boyfriends" transition down to friends. We'd continue sleeping together until we felt weird about it. We have remained very good, close friends, without the romantic element. I think my own success came from the fact that just because the label changed ("boyfriend" to...

Sure sounds like you all have your heads on straight! Well done for being so thoughtful in your poly. That is neat to read about. You're doing what is a habit of mine, too: worrying about problems that haven't happened yet. You see the potential for a problem, but it hasn't yet come to pass...

Tons of Stuff Happened I visited Elemental. We hadn't seen each other for a year and a half. To see him in person, to touch him again after so long...it was so good. My heart is all full of love for him. I love him as hard as I ever did and am loving the zero expectations, anarchy thing that...

I dig these questions. I like all the conversations that happen about labels in this forum; language is so important, isn't it? That said, I think we rely too much on labels for comfort. Or rather, I personally don't like to rely on labels for comfort. I shouldn't say it's a negative thing...

Love the term "Special Ladies." I'm going to co-opt that. Also, you're a good writer and I'm glad your bitterness is fading out.

Agreed. The decades of experience you have on them should be informing your patience with them.

I've been more sensitive or irritable this past week. I can't figure why that happens sometimes, although it most often coincides with lady times. This week there isn't any rational reason I can figure so there's nothing to be done but to try and control the way I talk to James. He's in the line...

GUYS guess what: I'm having a great morning and I have to toot my own horn. I can't go bragging to my friends, I already do it too much. I tell people pretty regularly that I'm happy and it makes me feel like a jerk. But you're (mostly) a bunch of strangers, so here comes the bragging! At work...

Thanks, Kevin. Also, I noticed in some other thread that you were raised Mormon? So was I. How old were you when you became inactive? I was in my early 20's, but didn't really emotionally break away until I was about 25. I stopped believing in God. But I still feel that the Church can be a very...

It's my birthday! I'm 31 today! Older folks: does it ever feel like you've grown up? I still feel like a kid. I'm not. I'm a grown-ass adult with a "real" job and a home that I pay for. I volunteer, and I'm in choir and the community garden...I'm grown up. But it doesn't feel like it! I guess...

I don't have drama either...anymore. When I was a unicorn dating a couple I sure did. We did all the things wrong, all the things a triad of poly noobs can do wrong, we did wrong. So, learning from the mistakes of others here is a good place to start. Depending on your town, there might be a...

I agree with Kommander. I didn't read this theory as being necessarily mono. It describes loves of all kinds. In fact, when I began learning about this theory it helped me work through my own mono-based socializing around love. It helped me break down the idea that I have to love certain people...

Right in one. He's the best. I'm having deeper romantic feelings for him, for sure...or maybe it's still NRE? Who knows, who cares :) Leda and I had our housewarming party a couple weekends ago. It went really well. All of our friends are such nerds and I love that about us. I did stay up...

To me, poly is whatever you want it to be. To me it means being able to love who I want (friends, partners, lovers, family) however I want (platonic, sexual, romantic) without regard to the judgments of others. Because of this I'm losing my attachment to labels like "boyfriend", because what my...

Third Post for Today I have been experiencing some guilt around talking to Elemental more often lately, with respect to James. I told James and he reassured me that he's completely cool. I told him that I'm having trouble setting boundaries around how much I tell him about my relationship to...

The Triad of Doom and Despair, Part Two: It Wasn’t Entirely Negative That’s right, it wasn’t. Despite my silly name for it, the triad wasn’t all bad. In fact, it was really very fun at first, and at times throughout. I’ll share a positive anecdote about it. It was our second date and I was...