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Sending a huge amount of support. The situation is hard for both of you. I hope you are able to turn it around. Anything you can do to self-care?

One last thing I've discovered-- it is possible to be poly and demisexual. Once you have love and security and regular contact in your life, you can have sex with many, many more people than you normally could, and on a fairly casual basis. But without that love, sex with anyone is off the...

Be the world’s best advocate for yourself, as well as your partners and metas. Be generous, but make sure you are being generous to yourself, as well as the others. Don’t give up any part of your identity. Keep up with your friends, and be out to them. Make new ones if yours can’t be...

I ended up phrasing that as, “Share the load of poly work, as well as the pleasures.”

I like 3. The one quoted in my triad, from more than 2 was “go at the pace of the slowest person." Well, the slowest person slowed things down to the point of non-struggle, non-address, and therefore did not struggle. A comfortable existence. Meanwhile, dictating NO movement forward, and thereby...

I think one you can do is own both your choice to be monogamousand your freedom to revoke that choice. You are choosing because it works for you - now - and is worth it. It might not later. You can still hold the freedom to revoke that choice. Only... if you think it’s likely and you...

P.s- unrelenting jealousy is usually a sign of a need left unmet. Can you analyze what you’re are? I think that the group has given you a good start. My take— Sounds like you are getting reassurance- are you getting it in they way YOI need? You are NOT getting autonomy with new guy...

New partner is keen for one on one? For you all to really work, *you need to honor that* So much goes your way by default— if he expresses a counter to norm desire— make it happen if you at all can. I’m going to advocate for them for a sec- and may end up an advocate for you. You and...

Unexpected fallout to breaking up- also ending up putting relationships with my less-time intensive partners on hold. I’ve found out I need a solid, predictably frequent, close relationship to feel sexual around people. And no one else in my circle is a good fit for that with me. I could do...

Yes, the two of them are still together, and it seems to work for them just fine. It wouldn’t be healthy for me to be in, but it seems to work better for them with eachother than either with me.

Thanks, Galagirl, for all the thoughts and the stories. They truly help- /‘very comforting. And your advice as always, is spot on for the next couple steps.

Also how wonderful to have two people in your relationship that both get poly to have space to heal together!

https://psiloveyou.xyz/confronting-abuse-in-polyamorous-relationships-f9e35eea4546 I wonder if this might be helpful to you innsorting things out? It was a great resource for me in deciphering what went wrong. And I totally get a LOT of your feelings. I ended up poly right out of a really...

It’s quite possible she started with reservations, as all relationships thatxare unconventional or stretchy do. NRE got her considering possibilities she never did- and that she is now getting cold feet. It sounds like she was considering you as coparents in good faith at one time, and now has...

I’m not sure if I posted here, but I broke up with Apple at the beginning of the month. (Depressed partner) It has, on a lot of levels, been really good for me. Focusing on me, and my relationship with me, has brought me more happiness than anything else has in a long time. Independence...

I’m actually really valuing my current singlehood. Taking a step away from the dynamics that have dominated my last few years, including ones that affected me but I could not influence because they weren’t my relationships, has really highlighted my relationship with myself. I keep doing...

Background- After a long-term marriage ended, and two years of self-work, I started dating 4 years ago. My first long-term relationship started as a triad and morphed to two dyads which lasted just about to the present day, with some breaks. And I dated a bunch of other people in there, too...

I’m not advocating being with him— he sounds muddled- but have you thought through what’s makes it RIGHT in your mind to get to determine what he does with someone else? Is what he is doing with YOU working for you? If so, does it matter what he is doing with someone else— or is that...

That’s a really tough situation. For trust to build again, I think you all should focus on being trustworthy with the situation “H screwed up- Susie too- and now we have some repair work to do.” Can he - and you and Suzie- do the prepar work, in a way that lets you feel valuable? Their...