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And thanks, Gala and Kevin

I was wondering about that— but it seemed to bring in several posts’ storylines at once.

So update on my situation— the friendship I tried to work out with my ex- Girlfriend (forget the nicknames assigned- Fern? Holly?)) appears not to have taken- I have not received an update, so I assume there was drama- and if so, I’m thankfully not involved. Another ex, who I’ll call Michael...

I said no to a very conpatible match in that situation. Months later, they had worked through stuff, and he checked back in withxme. It was a lovely few months that we were dating- truly one of the best of my life- until we discovered other incompatibility issues. Say no. Explain why...

Diagnosis is only a list of skills and traits present and missing, anyways. Nothing makes someone undatable unless it doesn’r mesh with you. Partners or narcissists can be happy in their relationship, if they fit well. Sounds like a near miss that made you very happy for a while. That’s a...

I’m so sorry. Just read the last post— I should have before. You weren’t wrong to try. And you were right to keep your self-respect. He was practice. No one will pull that on you again, not in that way. If it helps, the next relationship after the really bad one was extremely good- and...

This. All of this. Especially the baiting I was with a sociopath for 2 months; the recover took WAY longer. Best connection of my life— until I realized it was one sided, asked for different, and was dumped with a heaping of revenge. I did not read past here. I think you are going to...

I meant years!

I love that book! Lifechanging a few weeks back

Shoot! I edited out the most important bit- lol! So much for cutting it down to improve clarity... “Boundaries are the choices that improve or protect your mental health”. I think it was more eloquent in the first version. But that is the missing bit.

This is a spin off thread from the "friends as exes". Something to come up a lot is the whole "what are boundaries" question. i came across a definition the other day that I loved, from the website "out of the fog". Part of the reason i love it is the implication of the fact that there...

Early in my tenure here, I repeatedly had threads moved from general to relationships by admins because they started general— and then they got specific when started asking questions But I do think a blog is a good idea.

Thanks- that is incredibly helpful. that is very much it. On the extra info comment- I’m still trying to figure out when I start another thread and when not to. Someone asked me to NOT start as many threads last lot of pists to facilitate keeping info together. But I see when I get...

Great advice here- thanks!

That’s such a good question about why does this affect me deeply. I think the answer is - I know my mirror is limited. Only shows my front side! I’ve found that others can see what I can’t— and I assume that their mirror is more accurate. But maybe they only see the backside! It helps me...

As to anonymity— a meta basically let on they had at one point read this, with body language suggesting knowledge I posted. My name has changed since.

Thank you, all of you, so much good food for thought here. And FWIW, none of this felt at all “not what I wanted to hear”- that crooked mirror idea is really interesting. I think what I most want *is* an accurate mirror- and oftentimes-and why I keep coming back- when I can’t see the situation...

Also, I thought I posted, but not showing up— that is life-changing about the idea about poor boundaries are also about wandering into areas that are bad for you— and I would add, staying. I think my plan is to give it a try— because of the great potential for good, which I know to Be there’s...

I think you’re tolally missing- maybe because of my communication- that there was no boundary busting by either of us regarding contact. I thought I might need 3 months- left that open, but was predictive. She responded by, “not what I want, but i’ll Totally respect it. I’ll be in contact with...

I love the feedback and growth I get from the boards. But am starting to feel like I’m “running the gauntlet” every time I post. I get a lot of REALLY helpful responses. Analysis, skills, new perspectives, insights . And Kevin’s gentle sweet encouragement . Which make this where I want...