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Thank you for the sympathy and support. I think that I need to realize the depression is not a small thing. It is not a small thing in my partner's life- being nearly immobilizing at it's worst, being disabling at its best- and therefore not a small thing in mine- it's confusing and hard at...

He may not have touched you, but ask ANY victim of violence, and the verbal and emotional abuse was worse. No sorry. No apology. Just a put- down. Denied your request for intimacy (Valentine's day exchanges). In the best possible light, he has reached his breaking point with the open...

I stop in and hang around on this site periodically, and find it interesting how it has changed. One of the latest seems to be: the idea of oversharing, within relationships. Curious to know where people feel the lines should be. Especially when a poly partner is also a bit of a confidante...

I would propose that a couple that is that strong is passionate about BEING TOGETHER- and that "passion" doesn't have to be conflated with sex. True, sometimes, this fades- it's not a failure to not want to be together so much- but it's something that types a relationship when you do.

The depression is getting me. I've got classic depression fallout (reaction to a partner's depression) and didn't realize it. Damn.

I’ve just gotten out of a bit of a codependency rut with- everyone— so I definately have that tendency. And, I do think you’re right about me and my boundaries getting a bit lost here. It makes me feel happier to think of spending some time redefining my own wants and needs, so I think I will...

Yeah, I’m definately overly thin. I’ve found before if I morph that into another relationship, it is not fair to the other relationship, so trying to balance solely with myself and Apple. I may go back to therapy. I feel I have no time, but it might become essential. Stops the “poly emotional...

Hence the soul searching :)

The situation isn’t quite as dire as all that— the day I was at the house was still very pleasant and one of the best evenings Apple had had for a while. O just got snubbed. And as I told Apple, if Cherry needs the defense mechanism of pretending I’m invisible- she can have it; I just would...

That helps a lot. Apple is truly doing all she can for her mental health- but probably needs to move into this area more with her providers, and I suspect they are starting to nudge her more into it- but I've seen that before. I might end up being the tipping point- but it's a gentle balance...

You're right, and I agree- and not speaking is exaggerated. She does speak to me- and even welcomes me- and then shows she's torn. The time I was over was specifically negotiated by my meta because of extenuating circumstances. I'm not complaining she's not respecting my relationship- I'm...

And as to "putting her in a position"- the two of them told both parents they were poly over 6 years ago. The parents ignored, and asked my partner to join the household to help out anyways. We've been extremely discreet for years, including an entire year at the beginning, closeting, while the...

I get my partner wants to look like the perfect relationship to meta's mom. However, I think i need partner to be okay that it will not look this way- and be okay with where meta's mom is- not understanding this completely, but okay with it as long as everyone is happy- and to leave it up to...

Honestly? If I was unintentionally slighting someone, which we all do, I would WELCOME the opportunity to correct myself. And I would call it just that. I would appreciate someone saying goodnight to me, in case I had overlooked them accidentally. I don’t see myself as a child- but still, I...

Genders are wrong, none of us are straight— but... No, there is no such attitude shining through. I’m realizing I have a right to good treatment, more and more, not starting from a place of entitlement. And the mom genuinely likes me. She’s just torn.

I’m not in a stage I want to do anything more than acknowledge truths. I rush too fast to break up sometimes; too slow sometimes; reshaping the relationship to something different seems the middle ground I would want to take. But as I do— I’m trying to make sure I’m not either being too...

My partner is being very proactive on the mental health front, and has good care. It’s been years- and is likely to be recurring and not short-term. This is a cycle we go through about yearly. There -*is* a “toxic to poly” home situation- mom of meta, who they live with, cannot wrap her head...

Add-I’ve done all the things that I would advise other people to do-living my life in the spaces Apart frommy partner to the fullest -enjoying the extra time with my kids, even reconnecting with my ex in a deep friendship. I don’t want to date-I feel like I have plenty of that with my partner...

I’m having a hell of a time with a non-escalator relationship. A period of bad mental health on my partner’s side is exacerbating the non-escalator aspects. Like, I have no guarantee I will see or talk to them if I don’t reach out first, which I assume is mainly depression. (And after...

Replying to : I’m disabled, poor, a relationship anarchist,’and not that good looking. First, many of us want a good person inside, and the rest is inconsequential. None of those are dealbreakers to the right person. And- are you putting down others who may be disabled, poor, a relationship...