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Hey Powerpuff, Yes I know that I resent my meta...and I'm going to therapy to work through it because I want a lifelong relationship with my SO and he's kind of a package deal. I guess I was just hoping that after 8 years, my Meta would not resort to behaviours that make me feel unwanted and...

Thank you! I totally understand what you're saying and really appreciate the advice.

Wow, just wow. Thank you for the judgement, I'm happy that you have such a great relationship with your meta. I am working on mine which is why I was asking for advice on how to handle her remarks which made me feel very uncomfortable. I am incredibly sensitive to her feelings and do not...

yes, I'm beginning to think that it may have been uncomfortable for her despite her reassurances otherwise. Thank you for reminding me that I'm not the only one who might be dealing with jealousy etc.

Invade is quite a strong word, and as I am a fairly compassionate human being, if what I had was contagious then I certainly would have insisted we be in my home. What I was looking for was help with how to deal with her comments, and I received that from other members. Thanks

Thank you Kevin, I like all of your suggestions. I'm trying hard to just let them do their thing. Much appreciated!

Thank you Tinwen, I appreciate your input. I really like how you worded exactly how I was feeling, as yes, they do have a weird teasing dynamic. I'm working to not interfere in their 'thing' but I like the words you chose because yes, when she does that it does make me feel like I am intruding...

Hi All, Well I need your advice again. Things have been going well for my SO and I. I have learned to recognize when his wife/my metamour's behaviour gets to be too much for me, that I just stay away and ask him to come to my place, which he happily does. If you read my previous posts, I...

Hi Gala girl Yes you're right...maybe I'm the one that feels like she has the right to do it because she is his wife? Those suggestions would have been perfect at the time lol...is it ok for me to pipe up? Is that something for my SO to discuss with her? I think that I am really hesitant...

Hi all First I wanted to thank you for your continued support as you are a safe place for me to post and give me great advice and often new ways to look at a situation. So, a little background...I'm married (28 yrs) and poly for almost 7 yrs with my SO. He is also married ( 35 yrs) and his...

I understand that this may be acceptable in your situation, in your home. However, in MY situation this is NOT acceptable - EVER. A closed door means DO NOT ENTER. This has been in place for more than 6 years. She is well aware of this rule since she is the one who implemented it when SHE...

Thank you Gala Girl, as always I value your advice, it helps me immensely. I do have a friendship with my metamour, when she's not being a pain in my ass. lol Or at least I would like a healthier relationship with her, if that's possible. So I will learn to detach...not sure how to do that...

Thank you Karen, I'm sure going to try. As I said in my original post, the last few months have been especially hard, and I think it just ended up being a perfect storm and I basically self destructed. Moving forward, I do have a friendship with my metamour, or at least I would like to attempt...

Hi Sage, I'm sorry you're going through this and can completely sympathize as I'm having my own metamour issues. Gala's advice really resonated with me. Boundaries are things you set up to help keep you safe. They are not for other people to obey. They are for YOU to obey. Why are you not...

Hi Karen, I'd say you've hit the nail on the head. I agree with pretty much everything you've written...so the challenge is, how to change my own behaviour? Let me give you an example: A few months ago, my boyfriend and I were laying in bed early Saturday morning, just chatting and relaxing...

Lunabunny, You are very thorough :) I don't know if you saw in my previous responses but I went to his home because he preferred it and before, when his wife had a boyfriend and we were all together, issues would come up occasionally but generally we all got along. It's just since her break...

I couldn't agree with you more Ravenscroft. We have faced numerous crisis in our 6 years together and I must tell you, they all revolve around his wife. Her 8 year relationship was very tumultuous and dramatic. Breaking up and getting back together again and everything that is attached to...

Breathemusic, she very much invites herself into our space. They have a large house and we could very easily not run into each other when we are all there. She comes up and watches tv with us, comes outside when we are outside. Any attempt at having alone time is completely ignored by her...

Thank you Kevin, that's what I'm trying to do. Until I feel comfortable enough to share my feelings in a rational manner, I'm trying to limit my time with her. We will need to sit and chat, I feel the future of my relationship depends on it. But for now, I'm keeping my distance.

Thank you Vinsanity, I know he is trying. I'm not sure why I made the same assumption...I guess I just figured as his wife she gets first dibbs on him and his time. She did have a very difficult time and I have been supportive and patient. But it's been over a year. The outbursts happened in...