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(Repeating to myself - I am a toaster, I am a toaster, I am a toaster) :p He did not say what he was going to do when we talked, and I didn't ask him to do anything at that time. I was processing and waiting for some insight from you lovely people! I got three texts back-to-back from her a...

So, its been a few weeks with no communication between Blondie and me. It has been a huge relief for me. Bowler and I talk about her in the context of his day and their family, but I feel much better able to have a positive relationship with him in this model. Earlier in the month she was out...

Thank you, all, for your insight. It has been a week since I last texted with Blondie and five days since I explained my (newly defined) personal boundaries to Bowler. It has actually been a lovely week. Only a week, but still... lovely. Bowler has respected my need to not interact with Blondie...

(GalaGirl - I was so hoping you would read and reply! I have learned so much from your insight, your kind honesty, and your organized responses :D to so many posts. Thank you for your time and your thoughts.) Yep. As ridiculous as I think it is to have an agreement that you can date and have...

Yes, and no. They did not have a veto agreement when she fell in love. Honestly, I don't think they had any agreements at that time, other than that they were allowed to have sex with other people, separately or together. When he found out she was in love, he threw a major tantrum and gave her...

Emm - Thank you. I really need to remember this: It's his job, isn't it. He needs to figure out what she needs and wants and make it work. I HAVE TO STOP trying to fix everything. He wants the one-big-happy-family. I need to stop trying to provide that. If she wasn't his wife, I would have...

Thank you, Kevin, for your honesty. I think you're absolutely correct. She is not okay with our relationship; although she claims to be "working" on it, I see no evidence of that work. She makes the same comments and takes the same actions over and over, apologizes when it hurts me or Bowler...

tl;dr After a rough year and starting off on a bad foot, how do I go forward as the arm of a Vee - continue to try to build a relationship with meta, or just focus on my relationship with hinge? I have been in a relationship with Bowler for just over a year. We are very much in love. He is my...