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It's been a while since I posted. I've been struggling. I have been reading my journals I've kept in the past year and a half and all I can read is constant, conscientious effort, a desire to understand and empathise with others, and much, much pain. I have accepted most of this pain as an...

path

grave

apple

Antoinette

On a macro level, what Kevin said. More to the point, I think Lunabunny's take explains what's going on very well. You may have learned in life to derive security from a sense of ownership (cf. the dom/sub dynamics with Ponytail). If Laptop enters a relationship with you as a free agent...

launch

Used to play the strategy Warcraft games (before Wow); I sometimes play Starcraft II, though. On the whole I don't have much time for games, but these last few weeks I got nostalgic and have been replaying The Witcher III.

Sagebutterfly, crucial question: does Awpti agree with your plans for a shared house? Does he see himself as a committed life partner to you? Has he explicitly expressed himself on these matters? If not, you might be shaping up the situation mostly in your head, and things get bumpy when it...

HaC, you were triggered. Triggers happen, especially when we've gone through much pain over a period of time. They are very, very upsetting. But they're not the end of the world. A text and a reply back is not resuming a relationship, even if it feels that way. A reply to say that Ting and you...

roots

I admit I can't follow the kink-related thread of the discussion but good job working with jealousy. You might find you'll have to go back to it from time to time, and it's okay. I know I still do! But it gets much, much easier over time, especially when you feel good about yourself in other...

Your wife is having an experience that is good for her right now. Furthermore, she accepted and enabled you to have similar explorations for years. She is only now feeling ready to do the same for herself. Stopping her is selfish. Your fears are not her responsibility. I understand that this is...

hunt

I must have come across it somewhere else. It's basically the concept of a gratitude journal, which is pretty common. You can do it in whatever format you like. In my case, I write about good moments with my partner, gestures he makes, nice things he says to me. Even if it's something little. I...

I'm glad the JSG is of some help! Figuring things out takes time. Would an appreciation log help you acknowledging Blue (or Red) for the attention she gives you and any good times you have together? Try it for ten days, maybe more; patterns will emerge, and it's something tangible you can...

sapling

life

Hello there! It's an unpleasant situation to be in but it's pretty common, really, and very normal to feel like that. Definitely what Kevin and Galagirl said. Ask for what you need, and protect your boundaries (personal space and time). Something that helped me immensely in an 'emergency'...

Starheart, I think you have a good enough picture about what you want. You're absolutely right that polyamory doesn't work well on a shaky foundation. It is very proactive of you to consider working on your relationship as a first course of action. It will serve you very well regardless of the...