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  1. endusal

    Word Association Game!

    mirror
  2. endusal

    Feelings and cultural imprint

    Michaels, I think both your own pressures (lasting so many years) and your wife's pain is understandable. This is a tough negotiation and there's no easy fix. It IS possible for your wife to work through her issues WHILE you're pursuing polyamory but the pain of doing so will be multiplied. If...
  3. endusal

    H doesn't talk when she goes out with us

    Might I ask exactly what was so attractive in this dynamic that urged you to move in with them? :/ As to your practical problem, it looks like it might be just the tip of the iceberg considering the above. I'd bet H might like you as a person and genuinely enjoy your company, but resent your...
  4. endusal

    Cheated on with Poly as the reason.

    Guys, I hope you can work things out. It IS possible even if it's hard to see it this way with the amount of hurt amassed on both sides. Been there, done that. A LOT of what you both write rings very familiar to me. Ting, it's true you've messed up quite a bit but I think both of you merit a...
  5. endusal

    Thought process

    Hi Nerd4K, Sounds like you're off to a very promising start, especially considering you feel secure and fulfilled in your relationship as it is, and that first conversation went so well. A lot of people have much bumpier beginnings and still manage. So I think you'll be doing just fine.
  6. endusal

    Cheated on with Poly as the reason.

    I'm sorry you're still struggling with all this. I also think you would benefit much from counselling. Please consider it in all seriousness. I absolutely feel for you regarding the incident with the phone call. It makes sense: it is an intrusion, a violation of your space, and a trigger for...
  7. endusal

    Word Association Game!

    dose
  8. endusal

    I've fallen in love with my wife... and her sister.

    The fact that she is your wife's sister complicates things and yes, the danger of jeopardising their relationship in addition to yours and your wife's is very real. Polyamory takes a lot of work, very high levels of self-awareness, communication and empathy. People new to it invariably bungle...
  9. endusal

    Sabbatical?

    Could it be perhaps that you feel as part of the responsibilities that she needs to get away from? That perhaps you would like at some point, like Kevin said, to take a sabbatical together with her?
  10. endusal

    Boundaries/Rules

    I'm really, really sorry you're going through this. This goes way beyond negotiating privacy, so if you're being tormented by thoughts of how you could have handled things better in some way or other, don't. Take good care of yourself as much as you can right now. Do you have friends, someone...
  11. endusal

    Introduction

    Yes, by all means! :)
  12. endusal

    My husband is poly and I am mono, new for us

    Hi dolphins, I've been in a similar situation so any mention of struggling, feelings of insecurity etc. are very familiar. I think you're off to a good start by beginning a discussion with your husband about it and by reaching out for support. One challenge I faced while figuring things out...
  13. endusal

    Introduction

    I fully recommend Hellblade. It's somewhat short (25h or so?) but well worth it. I play on PC, so I only have a Steam account. :)
  14. endusal

    Word Association Game!

    conjuring
  15. endusal

    Where is the line of "consent" in consensual non-monogamy?

    That's really a very interesting thread. I'd say my take on the situations goes like this: Situation #1: I think that considering Phyllis explicitly stated that this was a one night stand, she was not under an obligation to inform Frank beforehand, unless asked (which he didn't). If it...
  16. endusal

    Introduction

    Ah, haven't played any of these. :) I actually don't have as much time as I used to for games. In 2017 I played Hellblade: Senua's Sacrifice – which I found wonderful, moving and harrowing,– Torment: Tides of Numenera, and replayed The Witcher 3. In short I keep an eye out for good titles in...
  17. endusal

    Mono Male with Poly Wife and looking to Connect

    Definitely treat yourself when you're on your own. This is what I do. It might be a night out with friends, or staying in and lazing about as pleasantly as I can. Better still, try out something new. Sometimes, especially if you're not used to going out on your own, this will feel lonely. It's...
  18. endusal

    Patching up with meta

    I'm really glad if it helps even a bit. I likewise found a lot of stories here helpful and encouraging when I was struggling.
  19. endusal

    Patching up with meta

    Just an update, now that it's been a month since the last post, to say that things have been going pretty well. Thelsa and I slowly began talking again; Cautiously at first, but to this point we have established that we all well-disposed towards one another, feel comfortable enough to touch on...
  20. endusal

    Word Association Game!

    study
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