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There used to be a great list of poly-friendly professionals, www.polychromatic.com, that appears to be down (I hope temporarily). I did find this: http://openingup.net/open-list/ You can also look on the Psychology Today website and look at the qualifications and specialties of counselors in...

Why does he have to be single? If you want someone who is experienced in poly relating, and trust me, you do if you are going to attempt a triad (they are not easy!), they are likely to already have a partner, or two, or three.

I am very glad to hear that your boyfriend has decided to seek therapy. An insecure person will often appear to favor the New Shiny person who pays a lot of attention to them, because it strokes their ego, while the existing partner gets ignored, or close to it. Such people may pursue new...

Poobah, you quite alarmed me with "Sunny has a fatal attraction (obsession) with me." I am wondering what is it about your needs that you got so close with a person like this? Would you say you have a strong need for attention, admiration, flattery, things that you may not be getting much of...

I was aware of it being possible to spread HSV 1 to the genital area, nycindie. That is why I didn't let my two past partners who had it give me oral sex. We also didn't kiss when they had active cold sores. It seemed to work, I was with each of them for a year or two, and I never caught it...

Veto power is absolutely a norm for some couples. I get that the OP doesn't want to have it at this point in her life. I merely suggested it for the future because I can't imagine she would skip having children with K just because some people in a forum thought she should, and it is possible...

I have had two partners with HSV 1 and I never caught it, I have been tested and I'm fine. We avoided kissing when they had cold sores, and I didn't let either of them give me oral sex, ever. HSV 1 is very common and I don't think you can be poly and completely avoid contact with people who have...

I am wondering, do you have any hard evidence that S wants to break up you and K? It sounds like there has been a lot of virtual interaction. Facebook keeps your messages for quite a while. Is there anything that you can show K that proves that S desires to do this? If K has written proof that...

I wonder why no one has pointed out one simple thing, LadyLigeia. If you have a sexual relationship with someone you would not otherwise have chosen for such, who compensates you financially, you are a prostitute. Maybe this doesn't bother you. I can sure understand why it would bother your...

Well, looks like you folks were right So my friend wrote an email to the woman who was interested in him, basically saying that he was mono, that was not going to change for anyone, least of all her, and while the flirting and flattery she was sending his way was fun, he expressed concern that...

^^I love this post so, so much. GalaGirl is absolutely right. Nothing is preventing you from loving your friend and having romantic feelings for her. I love someone as definitely more than a friend and we are not in a sexual relationship. You are not cheating on your wife simply by having...

No, I wouldn't say my buddy has intentionally picked out women who bring drama and craziness, Galagirl. I think he has been attracted to emotional women who tend to open up to him a lot, quickly, and perhaps people like that tend to be on the loony side. I'm like that myself and I think that is...

My best friend is a monogamous guy who used to be poly. He is very certain that he wants monogamy for himself at present. He does have a poly primary partner, is fine with her remaining actively poly even if he is not, and still enjoys socializing with other poly people, including me. One of...

I agree with nycindie's advice. I am also wondering, is your metamour allowed to date other men, or do they have an OPP (One Penis Policy)? I know that many D/s relationships have this agreement in place. If she is not allowed to date/sleep with other men, only other women, and she hasn't...

Responding to what Natja said, I do believe that if creeps stopped getting laid altogether, most of them would cease to be so creepy. But there is no way to make that happen, sadly. I do cringe when I hear a woman say that she likes "bad boys," that men like that are sexy. I have never...

That's because we don't view sex as a shameful activity. Sure, be upset the guy you spent time on is a jerk. Whether you had sex with him is completely irrelevant. The majority of people who feel as you do, of your friend did, subscribe to the belief that every guy a woman fuck takes a little...

Why does it matter if you sleep with someone, then find out they are an idiot? It isn't like you give a little bit of your soul to every guy you fuck. Why is it better to have wasted x amount of time with them on platonic dates rather than have sex with them on the first date and find out they...

There is no correlation between time it takes to fuck you and how men will treat you. Absolutely true. But how many creeps who are only out to get laid are going to stick around for multiple platonic dates, where they will be presumably required to be charming and engaging and have decent...

Sigh. What you post about is sadly so common it even has a couple of nicknames. "Hit-and-run." "Hump-and-dump." Back when I was open to having sex right off the bat on the first or second date (years ago now), I found that the world is full of dumbass men who think that if they get something...

You make some good points, London. I didn't think about all the possibilities at the time. I thought of the commitment I was asking for as a romantic thing. It all started when I was about to meet a long-term internet friend who was poly, who lives on the opposite coast. I assured my boyfriend...