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We both just read the "poly hell" article, and it was spot on. The demotion part nailed me. I never thought about it from the point that I am grieving losing 30 years of being her only one. Reading that and coming to that conclusion was well worth my time posting this question. It has helped...

Thanks for the info, everyone. We have gone through Ethical Slut and Polysecure together and our communication is very good. It's this one issue, mainly. She has trauma coming out of a controlling environment and this triggers that. I will definitely read "poly hell." Thanks for that advice...

Hi, my wife and I have been married nearly 30 years and it is a great marriage. We started out with swinging back in the summer and it has been nothing but positive. About a month ago, she started getting feelings for a guy we played with some. Now she says she is poly and wants to date him...