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Nope, not going along. I feel pretty confident that things will go well, although I feel anxious just thinking about it so I can't imagine how they must be feeling. Alex took half of an anti-anxiety pill and K texted me to say she was feeling nervous, so at least they are both in it together...

Fortunately K did agree to it and even though she is nervous, she thinks its a good idea. I think Alex would have had a hard time with it if K did not want to meet her. I think Alex would have assumed it meant that K has some sort of animosity toward her or a lack of respect for our...

I have broached those topics and discovered that K has not ever been in a poly relationship, and hasn't dated anyone for quite awhile because she's been prioritizing her sobriety for the past couple of years. So she's not dating anyone else either, and right now doesn't have the desire to...

yes, there is still so much self-judgment in me around feeling like i just need to try harder. stick it out even when i don't feel like it. but perhaps ultimately that is not fair to alex even when i'm thinking that i am doing this for US, for our relationship.

oh! thanks for making a very good point!

This is so true and helpful and something I really feel like I am working hard with right now. Learning how to tap into my own inner sense of what it is I need and want and communicating that. There is a lot of guilt overlaying my feelings and actions right now, and as you suggest I need to...

Thank you, bassman. I didn't know it when I wrote that but I guess I was curious if anyone was reading!

i'm not really sure why i continue to be compelled to post on this blog, as i feel like my story is sort of boring and old hat compared to some of the others on this forum. not that it matters, because i suppose it is giving me an opportunity to reflect and perhaps offer my experience as...

here goes... so i know i saw this coming in many ways. totally predictable, i suppose. but i am IN IT with K. i have totally chosen this in some ways, by spending so much time with her while alex is away. physically i am just melting into her. we spent all of sunday in her bed, only getting...

I felt really moved and inspired by this video and wanted to share. This video is so beautiful and really helped me clarify some things in my mind about my own journey with polyamory. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pJJ_AM5C4ns&feature=youtu.be Would love to hear what others think!

just some thoughts from my perspective...i think it would be an amazing gift to both your friend and yourself to be able to apologize to the woman you had judgment about. so much of judgment comes from our own fears and triggers, and even if you didn't agree with what your friend was doing, we...

thanks for reading and replying, NovemberRain. its nice to hear from you! last night i had a really intense playdate with K, i am feeling so charged by my intense attraction to her and the physicality of our connection. i have found it hard to broach the topic of "what is happening" between us...

i know i have said it before and i will say it again...NRE is extremely distracting. i have vowed to keep my mind on work today, and it works for short stretches of time and then my mind is off and wandering again. it reminds of the meditation analogy...our minds are like untrained puppies...

maybe this is turning into a blog... so i'm still as obsessed with this forum as ever, and feeling compelled to continue to post about my journey. i suppose that makes this more of a blog than a thread, so if it makes sense for a moderator to move this thread over to the life stories and blogs...

Going back to the OP's request for some advice, I'd like to offer up my experience as both a cautionary tale as well as as some how-to guidance for how I have been creating a poly/mono relationship with my mono partner of 5 1/2 years. When I first broached the topic of non-monogamy with her...

I love this advice. Just sitting at the computer makes it extra difficult, because this forum and K's Facebook profile ;) are just one click away... I think it might behoove me to get up and do some filing today!!

Thanks for pointing me in the direction of your story, NovemberRain. It was very interesting to read and to be able to relate so much to some of the things you are going through. It is so up and down with my primary partner Alex that sometimes I find it hard to trust my intuition about what to...

NovemberRain, I'm so glad to hear that this thread had been helpful to you. Its hard to feel like the fucked up one and feel like you don't have anywhere to get a reality check. Even though I am still in the midst of my crazy situation in so many ways, the advice I have gotten here so far has...

thanks nycindie. that exact paragraph you quoted is something i have re-read again and again because it is right on. i know that co-dependency is something that is talked about a lot in popular psychology, but i'm not sure i'm clear on what the working definition is. how do you define it?

checking back in hi all. thanks MeeraReed for checking in with me. its been a crazy hectic month of travel, holidays, family time, house renovation, etc etc including some upheaval in my love life but not the anticipated scenario yet. i'm still living at home, with alex. we decided to stick...