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We talked.. it hit an escalation point, and we both realized we miscommunicated our intentions. He thought I wanted to try and save the friendship, so thats why he planned to call, to try to keep in contact and smooth things over a little at a time. We were seriously miscommunicating. He...

I should clarify, I dont know if he intends to "date" her, but still be friends with her, play games, chat. I told him that if he decides to continue with her in whatever respect, that I will not be friends with her regardless. I admit I'm hurt, that he would even consider it, but I'm trying...

So I guess I misunderstood my husband and he never had intentions of breaking things off completely. He was just standing back for a few days, and had plans to contact her after he felt She had enough time to calm down. So That her marriage was not at risk. He completely dismisses what she did...

Ive been here for some of it, what he has shared, but I can tell he holds back, maybe with good reason. I dont want to imply that I want him confiding in just me, I understand needing sometimes even a few outlets, I'm just hoping he would feel safe eventually to come to me also. This is our...

Thanks Gala, that makes a lot of sense..

This morning he told me he plans to talk to her this weekend. Of course I told him I am not comfortable with it and think its a bad idea, and I got a guilt trip because of it. I am angry, because he doesn't seem to be angry enough, upset enough that I was manipulated and used. He wants to...

Sorry Fallen, I will try to keep the threads together.

Considering everything that has happened, this early on I suppose. My husband seems to want to talk (confide) in anyone else but me right now on the deeper stuff. I get its probably awkward, but I really wish he would be ok confiding in me, I'm assuming its normal this early on. I just wish...

I can still see him trying to rationalize, but he hasn't contacted her, yet he has asked me a few times today if she has contacted me.

Ive seen him and he has seen me.. neither of us had problems with it, but I imagine going off alone and having sex is harder?

Separately, going out on our own dates, and secondary. I guess when do you know you are ready for it? We do know when we finally do, other then some ground rules ( like condoms ect) that we want to be ok with the possibility of sex happening. Not that I'm saying it would right off, but being...

Ana, yeah I had had red flags along the way, but kept rationalizing them as jealousy. I think one of the largest red flags we ignored, is when he explained to her that (he and I) fully planned to date other people. She got jealous. A woman who says she never gets jealous, but she reasonably...

Thats actually a big concern of mine, and I have told him. She managed to manipulate fairly well up to this point, so I dont expect her to try and stop.

Husband and I have both talked and realized a LOT of what we did wrong in this situation. We jumped in before we were prepared. We know that we will not being seeking out partners until he and I feel we are both ready to not have the rules ands restrictions in place. With that said, How long...

I agree fully. Ive told my husband, I don't feel he needs to feel responsible or guilty, she's the one who lied and withheld, and created this situation. But I think seeing this from someone else, and more experienced will help him(my husband) realize this. He ( my husband) feels like he...

Thank you Gala, Yes you understood everything correctly. And thanks for the advice. My husband feels responsible and wants to try to minimize GF feeling resentment towards husband for not "polying up" essentially. I will show my husband this thread, because I think it will help him realize...

My husband, although he was, and so was I still thinking there was a possibility of a possible future for him and GF, have decided to make a clean break from them. It was a choice my husband made after what conspired last night. In chatting with GF and her husband both, we realized something...

Lea, I have loved her advice so far. We do have that book, but haven't read it all. And I agree. We wont be trying to date again until we know we are at the point that we can do it without a hundred restrictions and rules. With that said, I know that if husband and GF get the go ahead again...

So her husband put a stop to everything. Not friendship and interactions but anything beyond that. I was actually a bit surprised I wasn't relieved, but actually disappointed. It was after I told him that I wasn't going to persue anything with him, I just wanted to make that clear so he did...

I'm doing a lot better today, I feel like I made a breakthrough yesterday to be able to slowly proceed. Everyone in our group has decided to slow things down and proceed slowly. One step at a time. I think part of the complication(perhaps it is what helps) is that Her and I are very close...