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A Polygroup including more than 4. Better word available?

Survey: length of triad/quad/ pod relationships I'm wondering for those of you who have been in triads/pods/quads, how long did they/have they lasted? And how does that compare with other relationships on yor life? Mine was 1 year; my relationships generally last longer, but I haven't dated a...

I've had quite the structure-change week- three new metamours, a breakup with a primary partner, and the loss of a triad. In one poly group (now partially defunct), it seems that the arrival of a new partner always heralds conflict and change. I might posit that this is because , as that group...

Maybe this wil help.... I have two of the most awesome partners In the world sexually. Thu both have the golden penis, (and golden touch) and they are so different. Each time I'm with one, I think, Oh yes! This is how sex should be, but then am with the other and think- wow! I didn't know...

I've been thinking about my own definition of promariness. While in practicality, i like to live all relationships to their limits, the concept still hold validity to me. I've felt over-committed at times when I feel I'm giving a semi-permanent commitment of time and energy, which I consider a...

I've been in a triad for about a year. My female partner Banana and I split up this morning, over many problems, really, but mainly incompatibility with problem solving style. That effectively splits the triad, too. And while I knew it would, I wasn't quite prepared for the effect it had on...

I think equal =\= same. What *would* the opposite of couple privilege be? And I'm thinking more within a triad than a metamour situation. The reason I'm trying to define this is when you're on the opposite end of a couple privilege situation, often no one sees it but you, and if you can...

I see what you are both saying. And I agree- this is about autonomy and equality within my own relationships- even ones that have pre-existing parts.

Sometimes, it's helpful for me to phrase things in their positive. I was looking for the opposite of couple privilege and came up with "newcomer equality". Would love thoughts on what that might look like. My initial thoughts: Newcomer equality is the right to solve problems in the new...

After thinking about it, I have a few thoughts: I don't think it is inherently abusive. But it is a few other not so wonderful things: A. Generally unfair on the new person. Veto power is a compromise they take on, and reluctantly. They get no say in it. B. Reeks of couple privilege...

Incredible articles. Very enlightening- not only for dynamics within the triad, but how I can make my relationship with my other boyfriend better for and on him. I've been guilty of "triad" privilege in my dealings with him. I've been think the secondary bill of rights didn't apply in the...

Yes. This. Thank you. Almost every single time I have had a problem with my partners, it has been covered by this. Explains a lot of dynamics. And I do realize this may get this moved to another part of the board, which is fine, but how, if you detect couple privilege, do you bring it up...

This is a concept I just don't get- what is couple priviledge, and on the flip side, what does a healthy relationship of a couple with their third look like. Applicable to me is if you are the third, and you detect it, how do you address it, and what are the things that are and are not within...

That is an incredibly good point about the third being his own person and getting to decide- phrased that way, he decided he was not comfortable sleeping with anyone when someone else was uncomfortable about it, and uncomfortable pushing the issue (which in a way was a compliment- he didn't need...

I think I'm going to posit that in poly, like kink, or any relationship: voluntary power exchanges such as "I will not sleep with anyone but you" and veto power cease to be healthy power exchanges when they are no longer voluntary. While it is unfaithful to break one of those without...

And, honestly, this is the whole problem with Franklin's assertation that we should talk with abusers. Yes, it should happen. But if my partners, who at worst, have fallen into a grey area of power struggles, have trouble talking through defining moments in power imbalance history, how much...

So, question on the whole abuse and poly thing- is using veto power abuse? It's exerting control over another. Line-item veto power was used on me in terms of sleeping with a lover indicidually within a triad until Partner B got comfortable with the idea, which in the end involved me saying...

Thank you- that is a very helpful take. Especially the going around in circles/spotlight bits- well, all of it helped clarify and give me something to think about. I did want to step up and correct a few things, Just for posterity- first, there wasn't any actual standing up per se, just...

A very cool poly moment came out of this. Just as I was writing Fandango's wife to say thank you for her support, which finally I could do without feeling awkward because I recognized that the recognition of roles of the others in our lives is crucial, and part of what I wanted to do--- into my...

Gala Girl, would you help me articulate a few more needs into the schematic? This is incredibly helpful because lately, Apple and Banana have both said that they feel that there is always a problem and I am difficult to date. I'm rejecting the globalness of that because I probably am for each...