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I felt the EXACT same way about oral contraceptives. (Like maybe they prevent pregnancy because they also basically prevent sex, haha.)

Yes girl. Yes. (Ooh that was a guess. I hope I got it right.) Also class of '99, which I love, but a Leo, so young for my class. In my profession however (I own a consignment store and am freakishly successful, even only 4 years in), I absolutely love playing the millennial card when I school...

This isn't a "seeking advice" post so much as a wallowing in self-pity post. My husband recently (a month ago?) started dating a new partner, and this is the first woman in a LONG time he has fully caught feels for. I know the NRE is super strong. I truly don't feel like our...

OMG. I wonder how close in age we are. I'm 42 and was that horny little 6th grader riding my bike to the library to check out anything and everything on the smut romance racks. Those little old lady librarians probably giggled so hard every week when I came in. I have to admit that doesn't feel...

Yeah. I think in the capacity and crowd we initially sort of found ourselves in, most did “soft swapping” and or traditional “swinging” first. We have never identified as swingers and don’t even really tend to fit in with that crowd.

Wow. This is basically our same list and that #3 is MEEEEEEEE. I'm going to add for the OP that revisiting the rules/boundaries with regularity has been imperative for us. We are constantly morphing. Our lives are constantly morphing. It has been helpful to remind each other of the boundaries...

I usually try to read through answers and see if any are similar and I can piggyback, but in this case perhaps all you want is individual experience, so I'll just start there. Conversations around our journey started several years ago, before we had any words to define things. We didn't know...

My journey over the last 3 years (which seems long given the number of drastic changes I’ve moved through despite how short it is compared to 19 years married) is that all of the changes and emotions and thrills and difficulties hit at different times, sometimes with unexpected strength, and it...

Ooooh. This is interesting. I grew up in the evangelical Christian purity culture sweep of the 90s and 2000s, so this is something my partner and I are actively working against as we raise our own kids in a more sex-positive and sex-open house. I have seen that the church itself hasn’t really...

For sure. I'm over here wondering where the year lines will be fully drawn. I know they say they've defined them but it usually takes a while to nail it down. Like, I'm not sure if my oldest kids are Gen Z or gen alpha. Meanwhile, I'm the VERY FIRST millennial (1981) and embracing that now -...

It's a tale as old as time. Every "oldest" generation is skeptical of the younger generations coming up after it, as a rule. Look at how the boomers view Gen Z, currently. Hm?

Hi. I'm chiming in to say that I love that you posted this and I'm super proud of you for reaching out and also like, really genuinely (though distantly) cheering in your corner, hoping you figure out a way to connect that actually blows both of your minds. My initial thought is - get him...

All of this. It is so huge and so easy to overlook and even forget. It is so easy also to be consumed by it and allow ourselves to be very deeply wounded when we are in a space of ultimate vulnerability. I can speak from experience when I say coming back from that is WORK. (It is beautiful work...

It's interesting that you go here, and since we did, let's just also go HERE --> Isn't sex so much more than penetration? I'm not discrediting this part of it, by any means, but in the last several months of really doubling down on safety, my primary partner and I have both concluded that sexual...

Yep. I, in fact, put it in quotes (and was really wishing for the eye roll emoji, but i'm on a desktop) because I most often use it facetiously. I hate the term and find myself feeling comfortable in spaces where it is both understood as something that exists but also maybe isn't the wording of...

The approach we've always taken is to take things a day at a time and to keep communication open. (On my end, this often means pushing my strongest emotions and blowing things up to put them back together.) Sometimes TIME is the necessary factor. Growth and maturity don't happen overnight. But...

Are willing to share the meds you are taking and how they are working? Also - sexual side effects? Also curious about wife's meds that killed libido. I've been there starting with traditional birth control (irony, no?) and later with anti-depressants. (No pressure.)

This is our rule, as well. But we've also been known to negotiate specific circumstances when the male partner has had a vasectomy and we have a rapport with that person, to trust he is being tested regularly and is clean. It has been, so far, a very small handful of men. My husband always wears...

Husband (primary) and I are on a rotating 6 month schedule, so collectively quarterly, if that makes sense. Ideally if he is clean, I am clean, and vice versa. My bigger complaint is the variance in cost and how long it has taken us to find a place that is quick and effective and also...

Jesus. Thank you for that. Though navigating "the lifestyle," I have mostly avoided the Fetlife crowd, as well as the swinger community. And when I do connect with one, I find that the initial goal in the opening convo is to slap a definition on everything. I'm not entirely thrilled with the...