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Yeah, I've had that happen. I've also been in the position of extreme desire for a lady who apparently had no interest despite the strong match.

The message is a standard message that attends to bans of spammers I get to make; I take a certain glee in sending off spammers. If you weren't spamming, you weren't supposed to receive that. For that I apologize. If you were responsible for the trollery involving trying to pass off a dyad as...

Deleted for trolling, user banned.

I just moved it to the blogs board--you now have a blog.

This. If I received a message saying somebody wasn't looking, I'd take that as an indication that she's not open for a new relationship.

I wouldn't say it;s stupid, though I do think it's a bit silly. Flip it around a bit: why would you want to leave your husband out of things that you find enjoyable? Why would you set up your bf as being special enough to do some things with and your husband as being far too inferior to do...

There ya go. That tells you everything you need to know. This isn't working for you--so change it. He appears to be treating you as entirely optional and you've been enabling him in that, so you're establishing yourself as entirely optional in his life. I'll suggest placing a limit on how long...

Ask him to get his testosterone levels checked, including the free testosterone. The loss of testosterone decreases male desire for everything, so if he's feeling not like his old self, it's likely due to testosterone loss.

I don't think there was any need to apologize. This is not FetLife and the inappropriate graphic sex fantasies don't fit most of the discussions (although what y'all say in PMs is your business). We allow frank discussion and imagery, though we would dearly love to see it used appropriately!

If you want it moved, just ask.

I identify as poly. I've been this way since I first began paying attention to the curves the girls sprouted in junior high. I always wondered why I couldn't be involved with this one AND that one AND the one over there.... There was nothing involved with that wondering and the urge to have...

Those folks have been banned.

Why are you tolerating this? Address that issue and I suspect you'll find it easy to decide what to do.

Then don't enter into any agreement that involves vetos. It really is that simple. Nobody can abuse a power that you've not agree to give them. There are a great many poly arrangements that don't involve them; I suspect you think most arrangements that involve primaries have veto agreements is...

Then you have no issue, as you've decided to take whatever he wants to dish out.

I think that bears repeating.

This.

I'd say that's so much bullshit. That's a rationalization for them not caring about your feelings in the slightest and doing what they damn well wanted to while hoping to not get caught. Until they own up to choosing to do what they knew would hurt you, I don't see much hope for your relationships.

Change that to "some" and you've got a valid point. Otherwise, you're simply positing that most adults are incapable of evaluating circumstances and figuring out what their likely responses will be--and I find that unconvincing. Um...no.

We call those folks sociopaths. Dude, walk on. Deal with your own issues. Find somebody else.