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Thanks, everyone, for your input. I'm definitely open to changing my mind on this and, dog knows, I am a totally open book in general. It's not like I'm this super private person (hello, blog!) It's just that I see a very big difference between me sharing my stuff and other people sharing my...

I think maybe I worded it poorly there. What had actually happened (this was back in October, maybe, so the relationship had been fully poly already for a while) was that I had a work conference, and since it was technically commuting distance, I didn't realize I'd had a hotel room. When I got...

Final poly peeve post of the day (I fucking hope): I arrived home from work to find the house mildly trashed from Rider's overnight with Annie. Empty sake bottles in the kitchen, the water pitcher empty, dishes all up in the sink when the dishwasher is right there, my phone cord unceremoniously...

And then, FML, it was my turn to have fucked up. I found out unexpectedly that my boss needs me to sub for him for a business trip to a big city in less than two weeks. The trip is during the work week (Wed–Fri). I'll be traveling and then working till 5:30 the first day, then working till...

The storm has blown over. I was so very angry with him that I had to walk away from the conversation for a few minutes. And then I tried to come back to it, but it turned out I was still too pissed. So I gave it like another half-hour till I felt calm, and came back again. Obviously, I am...

This morning begins a nearly five-day stretch of not seeing Dustin because he has to go to that memorial thing for his friend. He flies out with Pete today, then there is a memorial concert they are playing tomorrow, a different concert in a nearby town on Saturday, and then the actual service...

I don't know how you do it all. You are amazing!

I woke this morning with anxiety at 4:15 a.m. and was not able to get back to sleep till after 6:00. This left me a lot of time for thinking. Part of what I decided during that thinking was to disable my Facebook for a while as part of my New Year's overhaul. I barely ever post there anymore...

Yeah, I've been looking at some online counseling too—something I could do on my own. I'm not sure I could get away from work during business hours enough to do both (with and without Rider), and I did promise him we'd try it, if he will only get around to doing it with me. But I definitely want...

I see them! And I like! :)

My past week has been nuts. Lots of ups and downs—high highs and low lows. My trips with Dustin were romantic and beautiful and terrible. I would say that we consumed most of the booze in New Orleans, had all the sex possible, and experienced such a crazy-intense level of love and whimsy that it...

No, it's true. He's really kind of gone off the deep end the past couple of weeks, basically since he got back from his vacation. I'm not really sure what to make of it, but I know he needs some kind of help. I'm still working on figuring out what, if any, my role in that should be. I've thought...

I woke up early this morning with a sudden and vicious cold. I guess that's what I got for Christmas this year. :( Facebook indicates that a bunch of my friends in far-flung corners of the country are all sick right now too, so I guess there's something going all around. Luckily, I have today...

( . . . continued from previous) "I just have no idea what I'm doing!" I wailed, at this point in complete lack of self control mode, fed up and mystified and exhausted, emotionally and otherwise. He smiled benignly and said, "No one does. But everyone's looking for someone to tell them what...

( . . . continued from previous) My dream was like . . . I will just have to tell it. It's forever long, and it's the craziest dream I've ever had, and I'm someone who is known for my crazy dreams. It was kind of like life lessons imparted through the bureaucracy of Hitchhiker's Guide but...

I'm sitting here at home, chilling on the couch with Rider and the cats passed out beside me. I made a large and delicious Christmas dinner. I've been very slowly sipping sangria. But I've had the strangest and most symbolic weekend ever, and I'm still trying to decide what to make of it. There...

I will need to wait till later to address the very useful responses I got to my last post. For now, I just need to brain-dump. So, tonight. It was on the books for me to hang out with Rider and fan-club friends until it was time for me to catch Dustin's set at the bar near my apartment. Rider...

Knowing I have three nights in a row with no Dustin overnights has gotten to be rough for me already, and it's not even night two yet. But with my Dustin nights being Monday, Wednesday, and Sunday this week, that is just how it must be. The little gig pop-ins help some, but they do not fully...

Yeah, I actually have discovered that occasional interaction from other people is the thing that keeps me keeping my writing habit up. Which is super weird as a hard introvert. I've tried keeping a "regular" blog before and could never keep up with it. But if I feel like someone, somewhere...

I think I woke up still drunk. Whoops. Last night, Oona and I went to Dustin's annual Christmas show at the bar where he used to have a residency. He has endless legendary stories from that place, having played there since '99, and it was my first time seeing him play there. It was an all-star...