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Bear and I are fine. I graduated my classes and got my certification. Applying to different jobs now. Turns out my ex still wants some stuff to settle in court. Ugh. Its stuff i already knew about - and thought we already covered, but such is life. One of Bear's potential dates flopped. She...

I've also seen some comments that somehow it's all about my husband and that's not true. I dropped a bomb on our marriage and I'm the one who brought issues into the marriage even before this. He's not perfect but I'm the one who needs to fix her shit. As for marriage counseling my IC said to...

God this situation makes me sick. I am super sorry you are going through this. I truly hope you can fix this and he remains in your life. " I sometimes thinks he wants to come back, but I have also told him that I feel it is dangerous for me to be with someone who will just lie when pushed in a...

And just like that, both of our divorces are over. By some scary twist of fate. Bear and his ex settled and the judge signed off. He came home. Brought in the mail and there was my settlement papers. I keep thinking I'm going to wake up. I don't know what to feel other than tremendous...

Dude don't get married lightly. Especially if you aren't sure if your "poly nature" won't come through or not. That's a powerful thing. If you don't know your own nature yet or feelings or needs, Don't say "I do." Give yourself time, let things go as they may.

Never gave it much thought. It was just how things panned out. lol. But it really is a very good point and trend. Thank you for the shout out. -- You ever have those moments where you stop, look in the mirror, and think "Jesus, how the hell did I get here?" I don't mean in a negative sense...

It's been nearly a year since Bear has moved in. It's been a rocky road. Lots of ups and downs. We are still working out our S/M dynamic. I had another partner. Non-intercourse. But things went awry for a variety of reasons. I still can't quite put my finger on what just happened, but he...

You're not a bad guy. IMO. I went through the same thing with my ex. I found him curled up on the bedroom floor, crying his heart out. He asked me to come back to him and get counseling. That was the hardest thing I ever had to do, was not run over and try to "fix everything". It struck...

My divorce date was for the 15th. Low and behold, decree arrived in the mail.. I share your feelings about September though. Yeah. I was gong to say it would be tainted. No.. Hope things are well.

So... Its been four months. Major changes. Lots of ups and downs. Lots of adventure! So the update. Bear and I are back together. We both ended up not talking for over 60 days. Both of us ended up in therapy and dealing with our emotions. I had actually resolved that he wouldn't contact...

Still here. Just going through major transitional stuff. Will write about it once it's done. Though that may be awhile. This isn't a dead blog, just put on hold. :)

I might have gotten my wish. I have been on the phone and doing paper work constantly. I have confronted more of the divorce issues head on and faced some stuff I really didn't want to look at. I suddenly vividly remember the way I felt when I was 16 years old. Marriage was a risk and men were...

I thought I was prepared for the horrors of divorce. And it turns out they really haven't even started. Not in the way I thought that they had. I spent most of the day on the phone with various advisors and even an attorney at one point. I have all kinds of paper work and stuff to file and...

And do you really want to go down that route again? Granted I'm a young green horn and have two failed relationships, but geeze, I can't imagine getting into the same situation again with somebody who's being pretty upfront about getting me into it. The story literally made me cringe. Bless...

It's a been a rough few nights. I spent all of Thursday crying my heart out. I mean a solid 12 hours. The I spent the next day just gathering all my things and taking inventory of everything. Then I called a divorce lawyer. I started updating my resume and started writing, a lot. Then cried...

The munch was awesome. I met a submissive who was just as scared as I appeared to be when I first went, so we chatted away. There was a couple whom I've been drawn too and we talk a lot. Nothing sexual...yet, but our conversations have turned Kinky after the last time we met. I didn't mingle...

Did a lot of good writing last night in my journal. It is amazing, how something suddenly clicks. I was reading my book when I read over a line that triggered what I wanted in my head. I suddenly had a clear image of what I was missing in both of my relationships - and why Bear and I really...

Thank you both for your kindness. It was MUCH needed. And I just cried some more....in relief. Rage post: I'm just so angry right now. I look at the two men that I loved so dearly and think QUITTERS. My son is going through a tough time and of course, like he has for the past fucking TEN...

I met new people tonight and really really enjoyed it. Then got in the car and cried so hard, it shocked even me. I'm still not over Bear. I feel like It's been months already. Yet...lmao, it's only been a mere 14 days. Christ. Therapy sucked. I just sat there and cried for the most part. I...

Oh my god this sums up my feelings toward bear right now I just had a good cry. I'm NOT the only one who goes on this crazy roller coaster! I'm not nuts! I am treating our "break" as a full on break up, but jesus, one minute I hope I never see him again and he doesn't come anywhere near my...