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Spoke to Kile, he is working towards once a week as he is adjusting to the 2 week cycle in his roster & it sounds like a rostering system by NP as they have household they run together so its difficult to separate them , & we will fortify the polyrelationship with regular long phone calls in...

Kile has offered once a fortnight? I am talking to him sometime today to ask about addressing my needs. So l will update you. Gerald is sex only. Kile feel romantic towards. So l can get romance & sex l guess. I dont have to sit down with his NP. It seems he to refer to her. So we shall see. It...

I want once a week. Thats not alot but depending what he can give. I do have another guy called Gerald l chill & have sex with & nothing else. But l want a polyrelationship with Kile. No bouncy castle. Kile talks bout providing me proper time? So if the two a month is locked in. Gerald will be...

Thank you, Mags. Its very empowering. Asking him what he can offer after hashing it out with his wife of three years. Ask what he wants and expects? I don't have the energy to be bounced around by Kile. I wish l felt more empowered, but l am getting a good insight with the different members on...

Think Kile has different priorities. He hasnt mentioned casual. But he talked about focusing on the additional partner. Though l need clarification on whether main nester can veto. He talks bout her working out their schedules? What he has discussed with me verbally seems to change with what he...

I am very sensitive. Maybe poly is not for me. Kile's main nester may be the gate keeper. I would like to see him at least once a week. There is a possibility of 3 times in a month. Its my conversation with Kile today. I have thought of setting up a casual hangout with another guy.

That's ok. I am concerned l may cave into the agreement, but have worked hard to sort my emotional well-being. I am partially aware of his rosters. I will offer ideas and hope there's a little flex. I feels like she may have veto.

Hi, Kevin. I am hashing it out with him today. I am not optimistic, as it seems they've already decided without talking with me. I will be brokenhearted if this ends, as l feel attached to Kile. Do you have any suggestions? I am already going to say, "Twice a month wont be enough to build a...

Hi, Meera & Bobbi. No, they didn't say l couldn't see others. So it's not closed. I appreciate you giving insight. I wish l did have someone else. Yes, l have been floating around on NRE, and should recognise it's not love but huge amounts of seratonin, passion and lust. I guess l can see with...

I guess this is where the adventure begins. Finding out whether its going to be something that is wonderful & enriching for a short while or one with potential to last.

I believe you are right. Kile and his wife having a limited capacity to love one other each does not limit me. This will have to be clarified in upcoming conversations. Please know anything you have shared has improved my experience with poly. Thank you, Mags.

Thanks, Galagirl. These are the questions l have to ask. I am very grateful for the vetting questions. I think l've told myself its polyfidelity. But what does that really mean? That's what he said but didn't give it that title. He said, "We limit it to one partner each outside of each other to...

Your experience is similar. He has custody of 3 daughters under the age of 9. His partner has an adult son. They share a house. He just resigned from working 2 jobs (working over 72hrs) to one. He envisioned & planned with her to create time to do other things like opening up to meeting new...

Being new to poly, all of your words are helpful. I don't like the idea that the main nester can tell me my her needs come first. l guess that's why l might be considered a secondary, as it's still early days. Perhaps my perception is narrow with wanting to just be with him, as l am asking to be...

We text regularly & have established he does need reminders about the turn-around times with texting. But with his work changes we have a routine. l feel less fearful about spontaneously calling him. I think the long periods of not seeing each other has added to the intensity as he adapts to...

Hello SableNoctis, Thank you for the extensive explanation of the pitfalls of NRE pitfalls. l guess, in my new experience, one thing l will take is that complete open transparency is key. l am enjoying NRE, but it's been subdued by the logistics of scheduling. It's probably one way of...

I just want to feel safe & secure, with prioritised time with him. I want respect, and equal input when any decisions arise regarding me. As l am new, l am unsure what else l want. I did read the article on being a secondary, like the rule that time will be limited because of his primary...

Thanks for the extensive amount of info. I appreciate the suggestions. It's actually my idea of poly-fidelity. I get it. You grow from poly, so at some point l may renegotiate the terms of our dynamics. He only has the main nester.

New relationship energy. Oh, he is half my age & quite fit. But that's physically. On an emotional level, l am unsure. He has declared his love & devotion in fulfilling my needs. Kile is new to poly & being a hinge. Nester is experienced. The journey is a learning one. So let's see.

With the last day over, he & Nester are sitting down & reviewing his schedules to provide proper time for me. I'm unsure what you meant by spoons. l really adore him. He comes across as he is trying. l know he has more to juggle than me. I've asked, "Do you think you have the capacity to...