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The psychologists call it 'Attachment Theory'. Google it, my advice.

What is love? (baby don't hurt me) Seriously, I have an unnatural love for that song. You'll thank me later, when it's stuck in your head.

Often in long term relationships, you have a very clear idea of why it is you are breaking up. There's a cycle where you become aware there's a problem, you talk a bit about solving it, try a few things, find you are no happier than you started, then get yourself mentally ready to leave. I...

For what it's worth, i've been absolutely massacred by breakups of poly relationships, certainly just as much as mono ones. I suspect that means I take these things heavy and that for me at least the poly relationships I've lost have meant a whole lot. What's the basis of the OP's question...

There are lots of ways to live. Some of them give more opportunity for you to find value in your life. If polyamory is one of those things for you and it matters enough to risk your marriage, then go for it. I did. It was the most painful thing I've ever been through and my marriage very...

I feel for you. When I recognised I was poly I went through four years of hell with my monogamous wife before she came around to the idea - which included periods in which I felt suicidal too. I felt like the one person I loved more than anything didn't really value who I am anymore, didn't...

My experience is that it doesn't decay with the square of the distance between the bodies, though.

Len51 - Wow. It sounds like you had an incredible 40 years together. That's pretty special.

OP I don't think anyone can give you sound advice based on what you write on a board. They aren't there and don't know what's happening. That said, the underlying truth in other posters' comments is: you need to look after you. He can make his own choices. If the two coincide, great. But...

The process of moving to an open marriage has been incredibly beneficial. My previous experience with relationships was that you start out with all the oxytocin telling you that finally you've found the one person that will truly accept you. So you open up about yourself ... but over time find...

Joanne My first child was 4 months old when I fell in love with a woman who wasn't my wife. I never once found my wife unattractive when she was pregnant or when she was breast feeding. She was always a princess in my eyes. I think that my wife, though, at the time was feeling a loss of...

I had a relationship with someone who had previously been anorexic and also self-harmed. She was one of the most intelligent and engaging people I've met and I'm so grateful I had the chance to fall in love with her. That's not to say it was all roses: she had some issues with honesty that...

Self harm, like mental illness, is much more common than you may think. Stigma means that people don't often disclose widely. I've seen prevalence estimates that between one in four and one in five people have engaged in some form of self harm by their early 20s. Whether this is a...

Great to see another Aussie here. Welcome.

Sorry, I don't have any referrals for counsellors. My wife went to a psychologist when we were talking about polyamory, and he told her to leave me. Pretty poor advice, if you ask me (and I do some volunteer phone counselling, so it's partly a professional opinion, not just a vested interest)...

Responding to AnnaX: I have to agree with GalaGirl. If the purpose of the exercise is to have someone in your life that is warmer, gives you more affection and attention, you should think about whether the better way to raise your concern is by pointing out to your husband what you want from...

Leslie It seems like in none of these relationships, perhaps, were all members pushing in the same direction with full knowledge and consent. What does this mean to you? What do you need? Do you and P have a common understanding of what it means for him to be polyamorous? And are you able...

The way I see it, all the world's religions really only taught us two big things: 1. expand the circle of beings that you care about 2. want fewer objects I consider myself a good Christian (childhood religion), but am probably also a decent Jew, Muslim, Buddhist and many other things on this...

Kevin, Karen -- Thanks to both of you for your responses. I do feel very lucky. I could live a perfectly happy life as a non-practicing polyamorist. But I also feel I have a lot more to give. And that the rest of the world needs to get over its hangups ...

A very brief introduction. My wife and I are six years into exploring polyamory and really only starting to find our feet. This all started when I came home and told my wife I would like to date another woman. In retrospect, she took it a lot better than any reasonable person would and...