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Luckily, I'm 37, and the youngest person I'll EVER date again after the last debacle is 32. If they don't know by then, then they likely aren't for me. We're just at different places in life if such basic life needs aren't in place. That's just me, but...it's how I'm rolling right now.

Hey Kevin T., Yeah, you cannot detect a liar, but what you CAN do is drill down. Like the aforementioned childfree screening that I linked, the key is sniffing out the lies through drilling further than just an initial question.

No, no. She said she needed time to adjust, because she was, honestly, completely ignorant of the concept. I patiently educated her. And I repeatedly told her that I understood if she had an issue and we couple part ways. She continuously lied and strung me along. It's kind of like the kid...

Thank you for sharing this, lunabunny. It sounds to me like you're maybe monogamous, but ABLE to do poly? Does that sound right? For me, I literally feel stifled, like, everything is just all wrong when I try to engage in monogamy. That's why I tell folks upfront. Same with other big stuff...

To Me, Consent is Completely WILLING Participation. Obviously, if you're stepping out without a partner's knowledge, that is obviously not consent. But there's other kinds of lack of consent as well. If the only reason a partner is going along with polyamory/their partner seeing other people is...

This sounds messy as hell. RUN. Listen, mono/poly set ups CAN work, but often they just don't. It takes a really special bond. For some people - I am one of them - being poly is a natural orientation. We literally cannot help it. It's relationship equivalent of a gay person hiding in a straight...

Yeah, being visibly partnered with multiple people definitely helps. I am not at the moment, but this last relationship really drove home the fact that yes, this is something people will lie about. I am used to it on the issue of kids, because people genuinely believe they can change minds on...

So, I detailed my recent breakup in this thread. This was a monogamous woman who kept asking for patience as she got used to the idea of polyamory, and did all she could to draw out the whole "just the two of us" scenario. She basically flat out lied about her ability to accept the two major...

I cannot speak to the OP's point of having this poll, but what I can speak to is being the odd one out in relationships with regards to race. The power dynamic, no matter how "woke" white partners seem to think they are with regards to race, can be staggering. I am healing from a break up (well...

As a black poly lesbian... This is actually really, really interesting to me. The power dynamic in relationships between white women and black women in a white supremacist society can really be pretty awful sometimes. It's definitely more comfortable when my partner (s) are other women of color.

That is an interesting question re: communal societies! I think they might be. And yeah I live close to the coast but it's South Carolina lol. Definitely not politically friendly to a black, non-Christian, genderqueer, gay, female bodied human.

Yeah, Cocoa was their gay cook for the pilot episode. He was gone after that.

It sounds like you've found a set up that really works for you. Honestly, I'd likely be the militant leader lol. I am heavily political and when I graduate and go to law school, plan to work in a civil rights organization of some kind. So, the things that bother you would make me thrive. I...

This is very reassuring. Thank you for sharing! It's not that I find your or any bi/pan/non-monosexual woman's sexuality icky. I find those all to be completely legitimate and deserving of validation, to be clear. I am thinking it has more to do with my ultimate goal of that lesbian "Golden...

Thank you so much for sharing! Your setup sounds hella interesting. I definitely would not be okay sleeping in a bed, for any reason, with any man. I think that would be way too far for my comfort level, no matter how close. I also kind of like the idea of all female energy in the household. If...

The co-habitation in a woman-focused home is perfect for what I want. Thank you for that description. I may have worded things poorly before. I have no issue with bisexuality, and I do not buy into any of the stereotypes. I am sorry if anything I said upset you or hurt your feelings I never...

This is a really awesome reply. My ideal set up is a childfree poly family. Remember that old show "The Golden Girls?" Like that, but with lesbians lol. All living together, sharing, loving, sharing our lives, in a completely egalitarian relationship. So, to that end, it would not work with...

Thank you, Kevin! I am reading a lot of good, thoughtful information in this thread for sure. This is something I want to work through, but it is and always has been a visceral reaction. It's up to me to get past it.

Galagirl, You're right. That is what is healthy FOR ME, at this time, and that is better for all involved.

Thank you for this reply. It is long and well thought out. I just want to clarify - I don't have disdain for bisexual women. I just have a huge, undeniable visceral aversion to sex with men, and because my partners and I DO talk about details of other unions, it would be a pretty squicky thing...