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Aww, thank you! And I really need to update that siggy lol. I'll actually be 37 in March. Told ya I hadn't been here in awhile. I'll go do that right now!

While she SAYS she accepts this, as recently as December 14, she was saying things like she hopes that I don't see this being a problem anytime soon because it's really hard for her. Also, a lot of what is going on strikes me as quite selfish on her part, because thus far, it seems that I am...

@PolyNatural, I just read your site! It is very helpful! Thank you! I will definitely work my way through all of this, with all of the wonderful replies in this thread in mind.

Thanks for such a well thought out and thoughtful reply! I think the thing is this: In poly/mono pairings, it is always expected that the poly person will be the one to make the concessions. Why is this? This isn't a lifestyle choice for me. Not one bit. Monogamy makes me miserable. I am...

Honestly, we've started to kind of grow apart over this break for the holidays, which is kind of what gave me the time and space to really kind of be like, "wait a minute. There's been some seriously fucked up stuff going on here, and I'm the one making all the concessions. Not good." So, I'm...

Yeah, we let attraction take over Ravenscroft. And I admit, I thought this through poorly (read: not at all). I should have just been like, "I'm flattered, thank you, see you at the next meeting!" And left it at that. But, too late for woulda shoulda couldas.

You're not being flip. I actually have thought of doing this.

Beyond sex, there's nothing there, TBH. I don't dislike her as a person. I want to make that clear. I just am not compatible with her romantically, yet I fear what it means for me to dump someone like that.

You're right, I did have the ability to say "I'm flattered," etc. At the time, I didn't know her well at all, beyond the campus org we're in together. I think you misunderstood - yes, it was my choice to go out with her. It's my fault for not saying no at the outset. I take full responsibility...

Thanks for this. I do tend to go overboard with the explaining part, so, yeah, I should kind of just break it off. She knows everything else, you're right. As for what I think she's gonna do? People can be really petty and awful when they are hurt. She could try and block my own officer...

Oh and re: did the initial reticence to not reject her outright play a role re: the org? Yeah, it did. She's an officer there, and I'm a just a member - and a new one at that. And because these are both political orgs, there's crossover between the two. If this is a fucked up blow up...yeah. It...

Thank you for this. It's honestly the kind of blunt assessment I was looking for. What I'm doing right now is just doing my thing. She's a pretty dominating personality in a lot of different directions, but I know how to assert myself as well. She's away for break right now, so I've really had...

So, I haven't been here in awhile, but it's for a good reason. I went back to school for another degree. I'm 36, so that means having to interact with a lot of traditional age college students. However, I am an unmarried, childfree lesbian, so I tend to fit in better than say, someone my age who...

Believe me, it will affect things with you and AB. It sounds to me like this woman can make demands on him, flip on a dime...and it sounds like she may be heading toward veto power. She may even have it, and when that comes into play, she may demand that he stop seeing you altogether, which...

In my experience, they don't do this. They go in completely green, don't do any research, and just think that the third person will just magically fix what ails them and their marriage. Personally, I'll never be that band aid again. In a hypothetical world, they'd do what you describe. Most...

This is not polyamory. This man cheated on his girlfriend, the mother of his child, with you. Then, he cheated on the both of you with a new woman. You had every right to lose your shit, and what he did is fucked up. Healthy polyamory does not involve cheating - EVER. Everyone knows what is...

I'm single right now, and primarily looking for a primary partner (For the most part, I practice hierarchial poly). Firstly, it depends on if the person is going to be a primary partner or a secondary partner. I bend a lot more in deal breakers with secondary partners than I do with primary...

What rings the alarm bells to me is her, on the spot, rewriting the rules/boundaries she and AB had already set. First she wants no details, then she demands them, then gets angry when she doesn't like them. It all seems rather gross to me. Plus, are you comfortable with this woman you haven't...

Your last line re: doing our best is so true. We all make mistakes. Sometimes they are life changing in ways that we cannot predict, and once they happen - things like marriage and children - they are not easily taken back. I've heard that the maternal instinct thing when pregnant can make one...

YW! :) I'm glad you're working towards your happiness. You only live once!