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I must say Spork... That, considering all I have been through, that YES BEING BORN THIS WAY FUCKING MATTERS. i am offended that you are straight-splaining the hardships of gay life to me. God, this is why, while I value straight allies, some of you are just miserable. I honestly have this...

That's the thing - I DO equate being poly with the same immutable charateristic that had me sent to an ex gay conversion camp when I was a 12 year old child because my Southern Baptist parents couldn't accept my being gay. To me, it's a very similar kind of oppression, not some kind of...

I think the reason "lifestyle" is mentioned.. is because it is seen as a choice. Monogamy is seen as the norm. In mainstream society, we are still at a point where nothing else is seen as "normal" or "Acceptable." Being gay, I hear the same stuff about being LGBTQ. It implies choice, though...

Online Dating In General Is Difficult This is especially true if you are poly. The only site I've found that is actively LGBTQ+ friendly as well as poly friendly is OKC. Further, there are people who lie about what they want to get you into bed, or for whatever other reason. I've had women...

One of the best things about being poly is the freedom to seek what you want. It's not "cheating" if you want to go find a primary. That seems to be what you wish you were to this woman - her primary partner. Since that isn't a possibility, it seems, perhaps you could find another woman (or man)...

Thank you, MrFarFromRight. This is a very sad story, but often people live the only way they know how to live, even if it leaves them miserable. Admittedly, I feel much sorrier for your mother than your father. He sounds like a typical misogynistic religious type - women are for his pleasure...

I put my parents in this category, sadly. This is especially true since my father had his stroke. He's fine now, but there's definitely some cognitive stuff going on. He drives and all, but often talking to him is like talking to a little kid. Further, couple that with the fact that he only has...

It's not the relationship style... It's the individuals involved. Some people are simply not wired to be monogamous, but society tells us that it's the right way to do things. It's what you do - you grow up, you go to college, you get married, you have kids. Any deviation from that is seen as...

Heya InfinitePossibility, no problem! While that whole debacle was painful, sure, I'm pretty much over it, other than really navigating the ways in which I REALLY don't want to deal with someone who is so hellbent on getting her way at all costs again. I'm learning a lot here as well...

I always get consent first... It's just not my place to tell someone else's secrets, even to a BFF. Granted, I have no BFF at the moment, sooo..... it's moot for me. that might change once I find one.

There is no wrong or right time or way... A good rule of thumb is that if you're thinking about it, talk about it. The key to any healthy relationship is good communication. Also, a good resource for the primary/secondary/hierarchial question is the website More Than Two. That is a link to the...

For me, and again, just FOR ME-- a secondary partner is a loving partner who doesn't live with me, and has no intention of it, and doesn't share life responsibilities. For instance, say, she has a kid who needs to be picked up from school. I'd not be the person who does that sort of thing. Her...

I'm Openly Everything... I've been openly gay since I was 14, openly atheist since I was 21, and openly poly since I was 21 as well. I'm the type of person who doesn't hide. What you see is what you get, and screw anyone who has a problem with it. BUT-- I am also a liberal political...

I think she was doing it wrong because the sole reason she was open was because her wife had no libido due to menopause. She had zero interest in reading/learning anything, she didn't communicate what she wanted-- in fact, when I told her I was seeking to be a bit of a secondary partner, and...

Nice To Meet You! I love that I've found someone else as well! I'd love to chat sometime. It would be really nice to just have a poly lesbian email pal, even. If you're ever interested, please feel free to chat. :)

Pretty much the same way I came out as gay. I came out as gay at 14, though it was pretty freaking obvious anyway. That was just the official coming out. I came out as poly at 22, around the same time I started being openly atheist. Because of my habits, lifestyle, etc that I didn't exactly...

Hiya~ Hi there, thanks! I hope people benefit-- or at least find what I have to say interesting. I am just so grateful to find an active poly board! The closest I've come prior to here is a non monogamy subreddit on reddit, but it isn't nearly as active. Thanks for the greetings!

Hi Everyone, So glad to have stumbled across this forum. I am a 34-year-old poly lesbian. I am, as the title states, currently residing in South Carolina, though I have lived all over the nation, from 2 different areas of New York, including New York City, to several places here in my own...

What I meant by "actual relationships" is that it involves romantic love/feelings. All she wanted was sex because her wife wouldn't have sex with her. That isn't a relationship to me, not in this context. But you're right, it does get into the whole label debate, but then again, labels are how...

That's what I meant. If someone is just looking for sex, that isn't polyamory, not really. There's no love involved. And I realize no primary is required.