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For me it's mostly that I want to quickly filter out anyone that isn't ok with my relationship structure. Beyond that, I see it as unfair to the person being asked out to have them spend their time getting to know someone only to find out they weren't as available as they'd thought.

I agree with the others here, it seems I can't go 10 minutes without mentioning my wife in some way during a conversation, without even going out of my way to do so. Details like the fact that you're seriously dating someone else should be in one of your first conversations with someone being...

1. Do those "pangs" ever go away completely? Not sure. 2. Do you share the details of whether you've kissed/what you've done/what the kiss/sex/whatever was like? Yes 3. Does one activity bother you more than others? i.e. sex/kissing/love/dating often? Losing time with my partner is the main...

When I have something specific planned, that is usually respected. Ginko and I are big planners, we typically have things planned out well in advance, and try to keep J informed via sharing our google calendars and telling him directly what we're up for, but as J says he's fundamentally NOT good...

I was the one that initially proposed to my wife that we be non-monogamous, on our first date 4.5+ years ago. She initially wasn't interested, but was willing to try and find out what she'd be comfortable with. Over the next 3+ years she (Ginko on here) helped build a polyamorous network of...

As for the parenting analogy, any kid my wife and I have would be the child of both of us, meaning it'd be something we'd both be strongly involved with, not a separate relationship that one of us is building while the other is off at work. I favor the idea of equally shared parenting, where...

My wife and I generally pick activities that we can both enjoy and grow together doing, like partner acrobatics, aerial dance, weight lifting at home, Toastmasters, cooking, martial arts, hiking, volunteering to fix bikes together, doing Habitat for Humanity, travelling to various cities on my...

I believe it was that Maca didn't want to lose family time, in part because he doesn't want to risk GG having more time with them than him, due to fear of being replaced, so he was trying to combine family time with dating.

Ginko thinks she'd be happy being monogamous again once her relationship with J ends, however/whenever that comes about, though that could be years from now if we continue to adapt to the situation. She'd only tried being otherwise because she thought that was what I wanted, as addressed in...

Will there be a way to see it for people that don't have showtime, like via iTunes? Most of the poly people in my social circle just have netflix streaming and their computers. Even if I don't get a chance to see it for a while at least it may expose new people to the idea.

Your thread inspired me to create one of my own, asking for advice from the other side of the fence, being in a poly relationship but missing the focus that came with monogamy. I tend to feel like no amount of additional relationships can really make up for people having to divide their...

I think I prefer the closeness of being monogamous with one person (and having them be monogamous with me), but am seeing right now if the chance to have access to the divided energy of multiple people can be enough for me (I'd like to find a way for it to work out for my wife to stay with her...

I don't know if it'd work if your husband is against being among groups of people, but what about attending gatherings that your kids can enjoy while whoever your husband met online can get to know you and your husband a bit without it being so centered on her that you have to worry about the...

My wife, her boyfriend, my girlfriend and I all enjoy checking people out together, any time we're out, or looking at online profiles together. I don't know of any time when we'd be trying to avoid doing so, it's fun to see what we each like, and where there's overlap.

You mention that Maca will talk to someone for months before you know anything about them. Would it be possible for you to be let in on some details about them along the way so that by the time he meets them you aren't so out of sync?

Have you two talked about whether or not marks/bruises/hickies are ok? At least one person I know isn't ok with them on himself or anyone he dates, no matter how visible, while others quite enjoy them.

I guess this is different for everyone. My wife and I make it clear to everyone we relate to that anything known to one of us can be known to both, meaning we can know all the details of our other relationships, but as we've gotten more used to dating other people we haven't felt as much of a...

I can identify with this. When my wife and I were starting out with nonmonogamy I was looking for something closer to soft swinging with good friends, as I'd experienced in college when single, which my wife thought she could be ok with but didn't find appealing for herself. We used the term...

My wife and I like meeting people early on to be sure we all get along, requiring us to have all met by the 3rd date (at the latest), even if scheduling makes it difficult.

If I were in MX's position, I'd be a bit uncomfortable doing much beyond hand jobs if you had a partner with such potentially unsafe sexual behavior. As it is in my relationships, people don't go beyond manual stimulation until everyone has shared recent test results, and if new people are...