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Yes, exactly. This is a good example of something I have written about before - how what I call the different "wiring" for poly and mono folk causes massive challenges to finding common understanding through communication. What might seem to us to be a great analogy just does not compute for...

This would involve trusting Facebook's ever-changing privacy policies. They don't necessarily have a stellar track record in this regard, so I am very cautious.

I have found that none of the metaphors and similes work to try to explain this - whether it's children, works of art, cars, food... I have heard them all... - the response is invariably "Yeah, but this is different" and it's hard to argue against that without just falling into the "not it...

Have you explained polyamory in abstract terms, or connected with something that you are? If you have told him that you are poly but you feel he doesn't "get it" yet, then that's a very different conversation from what you would need if you had only talked about it in the abstract. How long...

In my opinion, for poly to work, there has to be a strict "no lies" policy. This includes lies by omission. You work out very explicitly the things that are important to you both - this may be where you are, who you are with, whether or not you are having sex, etc. Different relationships...

To me, this is a question of sorting out the priorities in your own mind... the competing priorities are - * being open about who you are to those who are close to you * Having a functioning relationship with members of your family Your concern is that these two are mutually exclusive, and...

I am glad that you have a good idea of what you seek - so many folks don't really have anything this well-formed. If you and your husband are still working things through, then it really wouldn't be appropriate to start talking to another about your specific situation. However if, as it sounds...

Nope - watched the Stargate movie, then watch SG-1 and Atlantis as they were coming out. Then watched SGU. They were all good, but I think SGU suited my tastes best.

Definitely agree with BoringGuy - spend the time to read the "Life Stories and Blogs" section and you will get a great cross-section of the different types of poly relationships that are out there, and some of the typical issues that can come up. Bear in mind, however, that this is a skewed...

I use this site, and the forum in my sig for the local stuff (like meet-ups). I have tried some of the poly discussion areas on some other sites (like OKCupid and Fetlife) but the tone of the places just didn't suit me. Since I'm not "out" to a lot of folks, Facebook is a little too risky for...

I am a fan of harder, darker Sci Fi, so for me there are plenty of franchises that stand out above Star Trek and Star Wars. Of the Stargate series, I much preferred SGU, because of the darkness, otherwise I found it simmilar to the other big franchises. I loved Babylon 5 because of the amount...

JaneQ - glad your fears were unfounded :)

I am going to echo most, if not all, that GalaGirl has said. I tend to use different words, and this may or may not help. I don't like the term "going at the speed of the slowest", because it implies that someone is "slow" which is negative, because they need to speed up in order to catch...

Yeah, I know a few of those. Most are just using the poly name to try to put some fancy wrapper around cheating or other highly suspect behaviour.

And you would think that some people had been on enough poly fora in the past to understand that, wouldn't you? *hugs*

This is how I kept myself from telling the truth years ago... and then a good friend of mine said that if they really are small, there should be no problem talking about them, right? The fact that I wasn't meant they weren't really small at all, in my mind... :)

Wilkommen! You said that you don't see yourself becoming monogamous "at the moment", do you think that you may in future?

For clarification - do you not live with the person you refer to as your "primary"? Different people have different definitions of the term, and it would be wise to make sure that we understand which version you understand. For me, a primary by definition, is someone that I live with. A...

So many good posts in this thread already, and so much good advice. Your primary goal has to be to do the right thing for yourself. Whatever happens to your other relationships you have to live with yourself. Do you see yourself as an honest and ethical person? Does it bother you when you...