Search results

What is it with some days when you become really conscious of an ironic situation… one that should have occurred to you earlier, but somehow you kept it off your radar (refused to acknowledge it?) until “now”. Maybe it’s just me. Edgar and I have been debating having another child for about a...

The “V” messaging pattern is continuing. Heathcliff vacillates between monosyllabic answers and sudden gushes of updates. If I didn’t know him, I’d think he was blowing hot and cold, but actually it’s just work pattern. If the time zones align, we give each other running commentary of our day...

Yay! Glad to hear blood results were fine. Now that bridge has been crossed, the process of planning ahead will give you inspiration and anchors and a lift out of the doldrums. Nobody knows what 2024 looks like - fingers crossed it will turn out to be better than you think it might look like...

My current platonic+ friendship with Heathcliff that may or may not end up as an intimate LDR (that started me unlurking here) has been maintained as a very close friendship for >20 years. At least some of this success story is due to both of us being driven workaholics (him more than me but I...

Yep! That! and/or a job that either allows travel without too many hooks or actually sends you overseas for further experience, etc. That’s Edgar (nesting / husband) and I. We also have a hobby that integrates us relatively quickly into the local scene of that hobby (sorry, vague on purpose)...

Thanks! Oops, I somehow missed the «4 months» part 🤦‍♀️ Yep, can definitely identify with waves and skipping some escalators at the moment (and being totally stuck on others)!

Hi @Openbook23, It sounds like an awesome trip and hopefully some progress on the insecurities was indeed made! Thank you for acknowledging this. This is essentially why I’m highly unlikely to ever entertain a relationship with anyone who lives in my city, or even country since it‘s two...

Both a Brontë fan and the character names fitted around “Cathy” quite suitably for each of the players (except Ned / that’s referencing Ned Stark/ Game of Thrones/ all things noble) 😉 I’m an even bigger Jane Austen fan, but she only had Catherine Morland/ Northanger Abbey and her potential...

It’s three weeks tomorrow since I left Heathcliff. We remain in daily contact with both Edgar and Heath. It’s a strange triangle of messages to be in. Well technically a “V”. We’ve had “Nothing Compares 2 U” playing in the house a lot today for obvious reasons. Such a loss and far too soon. I...

O - 90% C - 69% E - 65% A - 79% N - 40% More or less accurate. Surprised that conscientiousness wasn’t higher 😆 Would have scored higher on neuroticism when younger too!

Ah, makes sense! On both fronts :) Thank you for clarifying. And yes, it’s lovely to be able to live as your own person.

Hey Evie, I get it re: wanting to leave. I just came back and it feels like I dived back in the coffee plunger and the press is slowly descending. I hope those baby steps to freedom are slowly but surely going to work out. A long sabbatical filled with lots of new experiences will be such an...

Yes, I’ve read this article as I have been lurking for a while 😉. I can see how polyhell can happen. Obv, I would do my best (even as I acknowledge that i can’t preempt or preplan everything) to avoid giving Edgar reason to feel demoted. Of course every couple thinks it won’t happen to them, I’m...

This is something I will definitely keep in mind. I can’t imagine displacing Edgar - that would actively hurt. But it’s less about what I feel or do, it’s his perception of the situation that’s more important. So yes, definitely lots of discussions ahead and checking in. Heath being far away and...

If there is a line to be drawn, we haven’t got close to it with Edgar yet. We’ve been open with each other in terms of what makes us tick: fantasies (both), watching porn (Edgar), feeling loved and supported (me, when Edgar takes my mental load off). Visualising only Heath while having sex with...

Yeah, I thought about that. If I’m honest, we have spent twenty years tiptoe-ing around the edges. In terms of body language, our relationship has always been way more than platonic. Were we both robbing each other of choice because both of us were afraid of compromising the friendship? Quite...

Thank you, @kdt26417 and @Magdlyn for your thoughts! There is zero rush to confess. I feel I need to imagine various possible permutations of that conversation. I often preconstruct dialogues in my head if I’m faced with a tricky situation so that I can think through as many options as possible...

So Heathcliff’s boyfriend didn’t come to dinner last night in the end. It was a case of a simple mistranslation between Heath and I, preceded by Heath projecting his own insecurities in his relationship. The good news is that the boyfriend (Ned) was totally fine with Heath spending another night...

Hah! More food for thought, thank you, Magdlyn. The more I churn through all this, the more it starts to feel possible that the crush might just burn out before I see Heath next year (I’m on my way home now to the BeanStalk and LittleBean). Yes, one of the “except” factors was definitely his...

Hi folks, I’ve been mulling over my thoughts on (excellent) feedback here after posting my story as a blog entry the other day. Short summary: I/Cathy, a hetero female, in a long stable marriage to Edgar (hetero male), have recently developed a deep crush on Heathcliff (male, bi) - close...