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Mya, kdt, AutumnLeaves, Magdlyn, MeeraReed, Thank you. It's been awful. I glossed over some stuff that I should have paid more attention to. I was hopeful. There were a lot of really good times which are now tainted. That may not always be so but it's true now. I’m sad and disappointed...

Lovinghusbandforever, Stop. You are heading straight for a well known cliff in non-monogamy, 'the we must date together or our relationship is DOOMED' cliff. If she has issues with men, then she has issues with you. Sounds like she is tolerating your interest in her for the sake of having a...

This isn't necessarily an 'either/or' situation. You can and should ask for space in your own home from him being there a lot. And, you can work on this trigger from your past. Now you are more aware of it, and it's helping cause some issues in your life, it's a good time to work on it...

Fml Oak and Willow broke up. They also broke up with me. I am so ashamed I wasted so much time on people who didn’t care all that much about me. I spent so much time and energy trying to make those relationships into something real. And it just never really was. I knew that and ignored it...

Atlantis, Thank you. Yeah, it full on sucks. I wish I knew of a way to not care about that aspect but I have no idea how to do that.

1234567, I'm sorry that you're experiencing a downturn too. And the situation sounds hard. Not without it's joys, obviously, but hard. My partners struggle with depression. Willow has been chronically depressed the entire time I've known her (about 3-4 years). Oak has depression too although...

Cool! Thank you for the link. I met the photographer behind that project. She's great. I highly recommend people get in touch with her if they want to document their poly lives.

It's good you are not a red piller or a pickup artist. However, that's a really low bar. The kind of harm you caused is not limited to people who adopt misogynist ideologies or don't think of women as people. Honesty and openness are indeed necessary. However, when someone has been frightened...

Which studies? Something I am aware of for poly studies in general is that it is difficult to find non-white, non-middle class folks to participate. Not impossible, just much harder. People who are white or better off have less to fear from the stigma of being poly so they are more likely to...

Muns1, I moved your thread from Life Stories and Blogs section to the Poly Relationships Corner. Life Stories and Blogs are really meant for community members to post about their life - it is very much like an online diary. It's not really meant to be a section in which to ask for advice. (No...

There's been a lot going on, but it's mostly been internal. I'm thinking furiously, trying to figure out all kinds of things. I'm kinda tired, honestly. This feels necessary but hard. I've finally begun to face some body image stuff that I have long hidden. I don't like how I look. My mental...

There is a glossary/dictionary thread. But it's not super easy to find. Under 'Stickies' in this Master Thread, the first link is the Glossary and Dictionary thread. Just keep in mind that definitions are only the start. Poly people don't always agree on definitions. It can be really productive...

Uh, look, if you got a corporate request to not contact the woman you met on the business trip, you need to take a serious look at what you did. Whatever it was, you made her uncomfortable enough to either ask her supervisors to go up the corporate chain, or she is high enough up that she could...

Maybe the spine, shoulder and arm issues make it painful for him to finger you? I know I don't want to give finger fucking when my arm or shoulders are hurting. And since he's a dude, maybe he doesn't want to admit that? Occurred to me there might be a simpler explanation for his reluctance. I...

I generally want to know when a partner starts to become more emotionally connected with someone else. It's nice to know if they are sexual but I don't actually need that. (My safer sex practices are set to the risks I want to take and those I don't. It doesn't make me feel 'safer' if I know if...

Nicknames? UnicornHunted, Would you considering giving nicknames to the people involved? I'm having a terrible time keeping track of who is who. Not a requirement, just a suggestion.

WOW, your wife is being terribly cruel to you. That is not acceptable behavior. Do you always give her whatever she wants? Is that a long standing pattern of your marriage? Say no. Tell her clearly when you do not want to do something. It is ok to be ‘negative’. Poly does not mean you accept...

They will slut shame you if you sign up and indicate you are married. In fact, they won't let you continue registering. They used to tell people to go to AshleyMadison!?! :( It's been years since I was POF. I didn't find anyone who was interested in a relationship on POF, just hook ups. I have...

I will miss your updates but I totally understand. One has to move on sometimes! Best of luck!

I find Reid Mihalko's 'elevator speech' format for safer sex discussion to be a fine starting place. http://reidaboutsex.com/safersexelevatorspeech/ The format will accommodate the questions you've noted above. (I find his site is also generally really helpful, if a little cluttered.)...