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What do you know? I'm suddenly struggling Just when I thought things were going OK, suddenly, from out of left field, some negative feelings started creeping up on me about 2 weeks ago. This week we swapped OHbs days with my wife around because she wanted to be home for our kids on what are...

We have six kids, 5 still at home and school age. They all now know. As my wife has a 4 day/3 day split, the younger ones spend some time at OHb's house with them (or out on trips) during the weekend when I work.

I always work weekends, 40 hours over 3 nights. Those are OHb's days with my wife.

What sort of training? Like martial arts or something?

It's great when they surprise you like that. :D

You are getting there, MyotherB. PM me any time you need any extra support. I was where you are now only a few weeks back.

I finally thought of something that might be helpful to other struggling monogamous people. A few weeks back, I came to a realisation that was like a lightbulb coming on. It was: My wife is not responsible for the whole of my happiness or unhappiness. This really did help me a lot.

Hi Broncofan, What you have done is a carbon copy of what my wife did, except that she did not know what to do and it was pulling her apart and making her ill. She didn't cheat on me. It was me that suggested a sharing arrangement- we didn't know anything about poly. Full marks to you for...

I bet it it is the time difference which is causing the lack of communication. That is a 180 degree time shift. When they are awake you are asleep and vice versa. Not sure if it may help in the short term but it may be an interesting idea to start a diary of your thoughts and feelings...

Hi Marius. I haven't got anything constructive to offer. My jaw is still on the floor. :eek: But hey, you are a heroine. Good luck and good loving to you all.

Hi Ariakas, I did get what you meant. It is the same for us. That's why I quoted you. I didn't mean to sound like I was misinterpreting. In our V, OHb and I are friends. It was just this one particular week when it got a bit much for my wife. OHb phoned and texted several times every day...

I am with Ariakas here. Privacy is important, especially to my wife, who is the hinge in our V. At one stage, after we scrapped the no-contact rule, OHb and I were getting on great as friends, texting each other independently of my wife. But she started feeling that she was losing herself; each...

OK I will put something together probably at the weekend when I have more time. :)

Hi Jodi, welcome to the forum. I don't see any problems with your life really, from what you say everybody seems happy including all the children. I am also new to all this but I have discovered from being on here that nobody's poly is quite like anybody elses. If it is working for you all...

Thanks AT. Yes I suppose it is only a beginning but I am very happy because I think we have done something great, and even more remarkable because before it happened my wife and I were in a VERY BAD place , marriage was on the rocks and we could not seem to even talk to each other. Now we have...

So sorry, QM! But it sounds like he wasn't worth the time you have put in. Think of it as a lucky escape? There are some great real genuine poly people out there. I know, because I married one.

I think it is too soon and raw for you to make any decisions about it yet. I agree that your husband might not be able to give you the exact emotional support you need in this. Not because he doesn't care, but just because of his position in your V. I don't understand why he would refuse to...

Good idea for a thread, Sage. I am not struggling at the moment, but there might be times in the future when I am, so it will be a good place to vent.

Those things sound completely reasonable and should help all of you. Good luck!

...and hope you grow into a true Mr Whimsey :D