Search results

I tend to agree, the chances of it working out are pretty slim. But I just don't want to rush my judgment, especially as long as her stance is unclear. I found out that the concept of 'compromising morals/values' is very overrated. We are in an era where ideas get discussed freely, and people...

Let me rephrase to explain the nuance. I believe she would not spontaneously want an open relationship. But at the same time, I think she gets the concept that I need space, my own life with people who can bring me things she can not, and I even think she might want to experiment herself having...

Thanks GalaGirl, there's a lot of good stuff in what you say. I guess the option of divorcing but still date her did not cross my mind, but I think it is not realistic - at least not in the long term. The only reason she would ever accept an open relationship is to save our marriage, which she...

Well the reason I was mentionning it is that it felt like - unlike before when my gf was part of my secret life - I now got over the desire to isolate myself with my gf, I want my wife to be part of all that, which, to me, is a subconscious sign that I care about my wife and want her to be part...

Indeed, I am really flattered and impressed by her ability to place our relationship and our household above her pride. For me this is an amazing proof of maturity, and of love. But I must admit she is doing some back and forth between that stance and then occasionally saying that I am being...

I may have phrased things poorly. I didn't mean move her in, I meant simply coming at our place occasionally, whether for a week-end, a night, or even for the evening. I raised that because the alternative is me going out a lot in order to be with my gf. I should point that part of the relief...

Update... again... So... even though I had set my objective to separate sometimes around Oct/Now, things happened. I admitted my affair to my wife, mostly because she had been going through some texts on my phone (that were very well hidden) and were giving many clues. Interestingly enough...

Before I came to this forum 2 months ago, separation, not to mention divorce, were absolutely not something I was ready for. I am not planning to rely on my wife's goodwill, I am just explaining the kind of arrangement that I think would minimize friction, as FallenAngelina highlighted. As for...

Your experience is very comforting - thanks for sharing :)

Regarding her choices, the only reason she is stuck with her current partner is not because she could not move out. Financially that would not be a problem at all. She's just super adverse to the idea of living on her own, and wants someone to live with. Not that there are many alternative...

That's your opinion - I know several people who've done something like that, not least my own parents, and that worked pretty well. It was just a conventional way to work around having an official open relationship. This is where the idea came from, and if, as some poster say, what my wife is...

Actually I may have misrepresented things. I lived with friends when I started college, and the only woman I've ever lived with is my wife. But at some point during college I lived alone for about 2 years. When I say I can't stand being alone, it's mostly I can't stand *not* having a...

Put like that, my choices indeed sound pretty bad. I am not saying 'I need a sexy body pillow, I'll move in with her no matter how bad a decision it is'. I am just explaining why my initial thought is to consider that. But I value the advice from the community and will definitely tread with care...

On both sides we've had kids and not looking for more of them. As for the escalator, the aim is really to escalate on our common interests (art / science / career), and on the relationship avoid creating entanglements for purely 'sentimental' reasons. As much as I am not used to it, I appreciate...

Well said. Fun in itself may be shallow, but I pride myself to have studied hard, worked hard and got myself to a decent position. So I feel that as an addition to all that, some fun and excess can really be a fulfilling and deeper than people think.

I think the religious hurdles are too high. But I am considering it. About my secondary yeah I am mixed. At face value, when I hear what she says and does, it seems like she's totally out of control and super bad primary material. But over the summer we managed to get away together for a...

Thanks for the insightful questions breathemusic. About my secondary the issue is more the other way round. I feel I want her to be my primary and have the openness of our relationship just be an outlet rather than having both of us constantly chasing new experiences. I guess she's a bit...

Second update - 1 months passed So over the last couple of weeks my wife has been making amazing efforts. Our sex life has massively improved, however it's still nothing out of the ordinary, and nowhere near the excitement I've had with most other girls I've seen during or before my marriage...

This is spot on Galagirl - I have the tendency to want the cake and eat it. Let me explain. I remember how I once left a job because we were all underpaid, and got a raise elsewhere - and how colleagues told me that after I'd left, they raised people's wages because of my departure. Of course...

Follow up - 3 months later So recently we've had a big argument which led to me telling my wife how I've seriously considered separation. The previous times, whenever breaking up was mentionned, it was always considered as a shallow threat by her, but this time I made it clear I've been...