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Yes I would see this as a temporary thing whilst it’s convenient for us both. It would be totally honest and upfront from the start. He could be dating and if something got serious he could tell me about it without worrying about consequences. It might be hard on me but that’s what I’m signing...

Thank you, that is helpful. I have actually already had some one off fun with this friend (in May) and we’ve managed to maintain a platonic friendship since then, in fact he and I have become closer and so have he and my husband. My husband doesn’t have any issue with my crush, we often hang out...

What are your thoughts on dating mutual friends? My husband and I are at the beginning of opening up our relationship. We have a friend that I’d like to play with but my husband isn’t keen. (Not quite a veto but a “I would find that very difficult but it’s your choice”). I obviously get on...

Thanks guys. I loved sex at dawn. I read many passages of it aloud to him!

Also re your comment about how Dangermouse is still friends with the guy I slept with - friend was aware that we were having discussions about open marriage and knew Dangermouse had recently kissed a mutual friend in our house with me here. He checked with me “are you sure he’s ok with this?”...

Thanks for your reply. I’ve just been reading your thread (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=122081) and it looks like you basically ended up in the very situation that Dangermouse is afraid of. I think he is mostly scared of me falling in love. But I’m not sure why. Is it just...

I have got faith that we will work things out so that we can stay together as a couple. We both want to make it work. I do not believe that me agreeing to full monogamy can work because he won’t be able to trust me - if anything happened with anyone else I would have to lie. I equally believe...

I’m his wife :) I have known I was non-monogamous since before I knew there was an option to do it ethically. Equally I have known that Dangermouse was as monogamous as they come. He’s always known I’m happy for him to do anything with anyone else, I’ve always known I couldn’t. Then a couple of...

Thanks again everyone. My main aim with it really is for him to understand my point of view (he genuinely isn’t interested in anything with anyone else, he has had a couple of kisses and it just doesn’t do it for him) and to see that me wanting others isn’t a reflection of him or of us. It’s a...

Thank you for your responses. I think a hierarchical model like this is all I can hope for right now. My husband is very traditional and even having a FWB is going to be a big step forward for us. I dream of one day two families living in one big house and sharing everything but realistically...

Husband and I are still in the talking phase, trying to find our non monogamous way (which will likely be mono/poly) where we both feel like we are “winning”. To explain my approach to him (and others), I use the analogy that I try to eat a vegan diet most of the time, but when there’s a really...

Thank you - you’re right, it’s that kind of communication that’s got us into a mess before - we need to be looking for more black and white explicit consent now.

Hey, just to give an update on my situation! You guys really helped a lot, so thank you. We are really good now, we have done a lot of reconnecting. We are on holiday at the moment in Croatia - I was worried at one point it would just be me and the kids but we are all here and having a great...

Thanks Our communication is pretty good in that we are able to talk openly and honestly about this stuff. This last couple of days we have found writing to each other, reading it and then talking to be easiest. We have discovered that our issue is not double checking each other’s...

Thank you so much for taking the time to read and respond to my story so thoughtfully. I have absolute faith in us as a couple getting through this. Being apart last night was the right thing. I’ve slept and had some thinking time. Not much yet, but enough to realise I have an awful lot to...

http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=120355 Things have changed somewhat since my introductory post yesterday! The difference is that when I wrote that he thought we’d just been “kissing and fumbling” and later he discovered it was more. The worst bit is, if I had just stuck to...

Things have got worse throughout the day. He’s not slept or eaten since yesterday. He’s kicked me out so I’m at my mums with the kids. I’ve been with him since I was 18 - that’s 15 years. We were so happy, the perfect couple that everyone looked up to. I can’t believe I screwed this all up. I...

Thank you for your responses. Husband was physically sat with me when he said yes to me sleeping in other guy’s bed. The text came afterwards. The trouble is we both heard what we wanted to hear. This is someone we’ve talked about before, so whilst my questioning might not have been quite as...

My husband and I have been talking about polyamory for a while and have kissed a couple of people each but nothing more. He’s decided he’s mono. On Saturday night we were at a friend’s house. Friend went to bed and I asked husband if I could join him. We have previously talked about this friend...

Husband and I are just starting out which means it all feels new and exciting and we can end up talking about it too enthusiastically with friends. They generally start out a little taken aback, come round to saying they understand it in theory but couldn’t do it themselves. We do need to be...