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Opalescent - I will look into Google number thank you! And that book sounds so familiar, I will check if I have it or have read it. I read a few books on trusting instincts and allowing children to do so too years ago... I believe that I have good instincts most of the time, but I do worry...

I'm enjoying the various suggestions and observations shared here so thank you to everyone. River, it is vastly different for a woman sadly. We are pretty much taught from birth that every action and clothing choice can add to or detract from our personal safety on a family basis. Add that...

CTF - I totally understand your perspective and I suspect my husband is the same, although he has said he would prefer me to be with women and not other men. I think though that more than anything what he objects to is the emotional connection that I may form with someone else.

All excellent advice!! Thank you everyone :) Although I'm still feeling so-so, I'm taking my question as a positive sign that I will one day (hopefully soon) be ready and able to move on with my life.

Meeting someone - safety? General question: When you meet someone online, chat for a while, and then want to meet - what is the ideal way to do this? Should you chat extensively first to get to know each other better? Do you just meet when you click? And what are the safety issues around...

Thank you for your valuable input CTF. And it is extremely valuable! Everything you say rings true to what he is experiencing and what he has communicated thus far. I think acceptance would be easier for him too. I need to consider that as a third option. Thank you!

I really really hope so!! Thanks :) Huge slide backwards these last two days.. I sent her a huge parcel just after we ended things. Things I'd collected and outntogether for her and her family, and it was too painful to keep them here. She got the parcel yesterday and we are excitedly...

This is great! Congratulations on finding the strength you needed... And here's to moving forward!!

Nycindie - he had no idea what was happening then. I think he was talking from hindsight. Although he did berate me for texting her when I was with him. And I immediately corrected that behaviour. I know during the breakup and subsequent recovery I was a shell. But during, you are right I...

Kevin - you are right. Of course I never knew what was happening, so it kinda steamrollered me. I am quite sure that I want to try to manage it better next time. And yes, I do want there to be a next time. WhatHappened - I want understanding. I have no illusions that I can get him to agree...

While I cannot begin to understand the level of hurt and layers of mixed emotions I'm hearing here, I just wanted to offer hugs. I'm definitely not in a place to offer advice, so instead will offer silent support and let you know that you need to only survive one hour at a time right now...

Thanks Kevin :) more baby steps taken today to pull away more, cutting back on the amount I interact and the level at which I choose to interact with her. I proud of myself each time I manage to not jump to respond to messages and emails, I'm proud of myself each time I find the strength to...

I agree totally and after reading this I realised that aside one of them, yes they are people I know in "real life". I will be more aware now of the patterns. This too is excellent advice. Thanks TenK

Assessing judgement and decision making ability is hard. Not something I've actively thought Of yet beyond trying to make small decisions daily while on this path. Clearly I need to put aside some more thinking and processing time.

Thank you Kevin. I do still love her, enough that it's driving me still crazy daily. But I don't feel dead inside anymore. I don't feel a weight inside my chest anymore and the dreams and nightmares are happening less frequently. I'm slowly regaining my appetite and the ability to not...

Thank you for this fresh and beautiful take on feelings!! I'm thinking from entirely another angle now. Excellent reminder to treat the new person ethically and compassionately.

Today I had a lovely talk with Rock. I thanked him for his acceptance of all the major things I've thrown at him in the last 4 months, for his kindness and support during the breakdown of my relationship with Wonder Woman. He has been lightly teasing about her, saying he hopes it works out...

After a painful, or any breakup... How can I tell if feelings of attraction for others is a rebound response, my latent curiosity going "no more waiting" or something real? My attraction for Wonder Woman snuck up on me, I didn't see it coming. I have no idea what I'm doing and if what I'm...

It's great that all of you get to see the summer as a trial period. Ninja sounds really well grounded too. I'm sure he will see and understand the realities and the necessities of things. Keep packing and preparing... so very nearly there!

Thank you :) one day at a time, one step at a time. I still have so much love to give and if she doesn't want It, I don't want to waste it on her. I can be grateful for the lessons least, for the new parts of myself opened. And then I can choose to let go and move the fuck on. It's my new...