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To Evie's point about a bukkake party, that isn't the picture I'm getting from the description of what the GF has in mind. Admittedly, I had to look up cream pie in the handy Urban Dictionary and it's having penetrative sex specifically without a condom. Given the premise of a bukkake party...

Sexual consent is valid only if it's ongoing. Everyone who has followed the lessons of the Me Too movement knows that consent can be withdrawn at any time by anyone for any reason. When it is, party's over. Sexual consent is not a business contract, it's a living agreement that exists only as...

This is my experience, as well. Unprotected group sex would be a gigantic flashing neon RED STOP SIGN for me. That is just not done by trustworthy and sex positive people, in my experience. That said, there is no upside in trying to make yourself be OK with what you don't want. All of the...

Just to clarify: You got married at age 19?

I don't understand. Why would you want to have a threesome with partners who don't want to see this? I dunno, I've been around all manner of group sex and in my world, if someone says they can't handle seeing me in this setting, then I don't press the issue with them. It's walking into a...

Just curious why you wrote CONSTRUCTIVE in caps. When I see that, I assume that you fear you'd get critical responses that are not well thought out but only lobbed. If so, that's not really the nature of this community. Have you had troubling experiences elsewhere?

We in the US tend to romanticize "foreign films." Sure, there's some good stuff, but lots off it is garbage just like ours. Have you watched a Bollywood movie all the way through? Superficial romance and hero themes, from start to finish. In my view, all of the creative work has moved to...

I highly recommend this book. Christiane Northrup MD completely transformed my experience of menopause into a highly productive and joyful era. Unfortunately, IMNSHO she seems to have gone off the rails in recent years and has descended into kook territory during The Pandemic. Still, her...

I went to an outdoor party of 100 people in Central Park yesterday, most of whom were all new to each other. It was glorious and joyful. No grim lockdown talk or suspicious distancing. The Park itself was teeming with life, all manner of humans and animals enjoying the balmy summer day. Life...

Why do you pay attention to horror stories and tales of woe? Ignore that noise. Find the women who share your values and date them.

Dating, like sales, is all about zeroing in on your target market. A successful car salesman doesn't try to convince every person in the world that his car is desirable, he knows his target market and talks specifically to that person, tailoring his pitch according to what he knows that target...

Sometimes people cook up all sorts of drama because they really want to split up but don't have the heart to be honest about it.

OK, why? I'm not being facetious, I'm really asking. Why? What's this all about? Addiction/heavy smoking/heavy drinking and drama always go hand in hand. All of us in 12 Step programs know this intimately. There is always so much more to the story when people can't put down the substance or...

OK, but how is this relationship helping you? I understand that his propensity for enmeshment has helped you progress with your own, but does this relationship continue to nourish you? Right now? How is this relationship enriching you?

First off, stop with the text fighting. It NEVER goes well. Next, the jealousy has nothing to do with poly and everything to do with BF's insecurities. You're trying to appease his fears that loooong pre-date you and trying to appease never works. ("If it's hysterical, it's historical.")...

Me, too! I had Oban last night.

You can always move to a poly Mecca like Portland, Seattle, NYC, etc. Lots of people move to areas that reflect their values better than where they grew up. Is that an option for you?

The haka has got to be one of the most magnificent contributions to human kind ever. Congratulations to these Olympic champions.

The "nutshell" is twice as big as the OP!

Boundaries are for you to establish for yourself. You are allowed as many or as few boundaries as you deem necessary for yourself. If the vibe in the relationship is that you're not allowed to ask him questions or have what you want, the answer is for you to get clear in yourself about what...