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@icesong, I'm terrible about actually doing workbook type stuff, but I definitely think I will give POLYSECURE a second read. I did find myself wishing it went deeper into what each type can do to be better at poly. I really like that the book pointed out the strengths in each relationship style...

This week's a mixed bag. BIDEN WON! Already seeing Trump less in the news cycle is bliss. Sunny hurt his back and is been struggling with pain management. Twice he's tried to stay at my place, but left in the middle of the night because he can't get comfortable. His leaving jars me. Last night...

It's been a month since Sunny informed me he was dating someone else, and so far, he has remained true to his word that he would not spend less time with me or be less attentive. It took three long, hard weeks for us to solidify our agreements. A couple of them are very much the training-wheel...

Hit a wall with relationship negotiations. Sunny and I had a really intense night/morning recently of discussions, sex, and even a little hurt feelings and some tears (his) all this made much worse by my period. Triggers: 1) I learned that Sunny actually pursued his other lover for a year...

God damn, I am in love with Sunny. I can't believe just 8 months ago, I really, really thought I could never feel so passionately for a man, was sure only a woman would suffice. That man just lights me up all over. He came over last night, I was on call for work so we just had to order in, watch...

My ex husband and I argued over him coming home late for 16 years, lol. He was a chef with late hours and then liked to go out and party after. I worked 9 to 5. He would send an "on my way" text if I started blowing up his phone, then didn't show up for 2 more hours. Like you, I couldn't sleep...

After 2 nights on my own (I went out with friends one night, worked one night) I spent last night with Sunny. He didn't bring up any poly stuff, I didn't really either. I was honest with him that I was still feeling a bit shy and anxious, and he reassured me it would all be ok, he wasn't going...

Sunny and I have talked a lot about "commitment" and what it means to us. He says he's committed to treating me well. I'm committed to showing up, for sure. He wanted to know if there was some other commitment I felt we should be making at this time, and I really couldn't think of anything...

After 3 days of talking, I'm finally able to calm my nerves. Two nights ago Sunny and I had our most productive evening of conversation (which ended in deep lovemaking.) I see him giving serious time and thought to how to keep our relationship moving forward while he explores having a secondary...

@GalaGirl "Sounds like you want to hear his plan for how to handle things. Not necessarily down to the last detail, but a rough general idea plan." You are absolutely right about that, and also: "You want and value clearer communication. He doesn't have that yet. You want and value "realistic"...

@SEASONEDpolyAgain "You are trying to think of ways to guilt him into giving those up, that's what you mean by "I want him to understand what is at stake". How presumptuous and obnoxious to think you know my inner motivations. I already told him I do not want him to stop talking to new...

@GalaGirl "Coming off the NRE cloud and hitting reality. It isn't always easy and can feel like someone poured a bucket of cold water on you though." Yes, that is exactly what it feels like. Last night I dreamed of bombs going off killing dogs, which of course are symbolic of devotion, loyalty...

I haven't been here for some time. I was healing from a very bad relationship, then I explored a strictly monogamous relationship for a good 8 months until she dumped me for another woman :rolleyes: Lately, I've felt more monogam-ish or polyflexible rather than polyamorous. I also think, after...

Wow my last entry was over 2 years ago! So much has changed. I just read all my entries dating back 6 years ago, crazy how much I'd forgotten. So many ways I was selfish, wrong, and also at times very brave. So Arlo and I eventually divorced, he moved out out state and became a heroin addict...

I was married to an Asian man, so thought I understood being in an "interracial couple." Sure, I saw how people made assumptions based on his eyes/hair/skin ("Do you know karate?") I understood why he felt the need to affect a certain hyper-masculinity as Asian men are perceived as "feminine."...

I used to say the same, certainly wasn't seeking LDR. We started out in the same city, even tried cohabitating a bit, but circumstances changed... but that's off topic. Funnily, IIRC, the Golden Girls in the first few episodes had a gay male housekeeper that lived with them and quickly got...

My gf is very lesbian, I'm bi. She struggled at first feeling grossed out that I fuck men, but quickly adapted once she realized this doesn't actually affect her in any way. That's good. I could not stay with someone who found my sexuality icky. I would never expect her to have any intimate...

I empathize. After repeatedly falling for women who didn't love me back throughout my teens and 20's, I married a man. When I reached 40, I started up with women again. I dated for 2 years as a married woman, then husband and I split. I sure would love to find a female life-partner open to me...

Haven't been here a while. It's been a hell of a ride since summer. Melinda now lives several hours away in a group home for mentally ill people recovering from substance abuse. She's been there 4 months or so after 90 days in rehab following a couple of weeks in the psyche ward. At moments...