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I was in a similar spot to you end of my last ltr. I was trying to enjoy being in a poly r'ship, but just wasn't. I took on a second sexual partner only because my partner had a girlfriend, and instead of making me appreciate my partner more, it made me feel even more alienated. Apparently...

It doesn't sound to me like your wife wants to be married to you anymore. I'm sorry. I think the longer you stay in this, the lower and lower your self-esteem will fall, making it even harder for you to move on. Let her have her trucker f-buddy, and get yourself out. She sounds like a lost cause.

You want all of him, but he's not available for that. You won't get what you want poly-dating with married-guy. Gather your dignity around you, and end it with him before it gets more toxic for you. Get out of this situation, go find someone you don't have to share, someone you don't have to ask...

See, I'm of a mind that whatever amount of attention/time you give me in the beginning, you better be able to sustain it, because I will not be happy with the excuse that I'm no longer new and shiny, and therefore, to the backburner with me. NRE, and its ending, happens in monogamous r'ships too.

I'm going to argue that you (a mostly-mono person) dating isn't going to make you feel much better about poly. First of all, I'd assume you're only dating people who are non-monogamous. Which means, since you're mono, none of them are a "better match," as a great match would want the same...

I went through something similar with my last ex. He wanted poly, but I didn't, really. I'd done it before, but it was fairly new to him. I was crazy about this guy, and despite my misgivings, gave in. The relationship negotiations were long and changed frequently. He had a secondary...

Welcome to the forum. I'm of the belief that people exist on a mono-poly spectrum same as a hetero-homo spectrum. Sure, some people are hiding or unaware of their gay or poly leanings because of societal conditioning, but many people are genuinely straight, or genuinely monogamous. It's got...

Right, it's for each individual decide wherein their own commitment lies, be it to a particular person or persons, or to the institute of marriage, or to the ideals of polyamory. On a personal level, I got major icky feelings when I realized my now exbf was more committed to having multiple...

Your wife's girlfriend isn't into men, and doesn't want to taste/smell/deal with male ejaculate having been recently in her girlfriend's vagina. So now, you don't get to finish in your wife. One of the agreements in my last r'ship was that we'd put 24 hours between sex with other partners and...

I'm seeing this differently than the others above. I'm unconvinced that your need here is to be more freely poly. It sounds as if you are NOT in love with 2 men. Poly was your bf's thing, originally, and as you've said, "It's been difficult to accept his way." Perhaps your feelings with Summer...

Sounds to me like your marriage has been functionally dead for quite some time. Sometimes people suggest poly when they're not quite ready yet to leave a bad relationship, hoping somehow introducing extra partners will patch up the holes. What's really happening is one partner is...

I think your gf is being quite reasonable. Dude, it's her SISTER.

There are pills men can get/take easily to fix ED (unless you can't take them because of some medical issue?) I know some men feel ashamed of taking pills, but for what it's worth, when a man I'm with takes his Cialis, I'm like, "thank you!" because I know he's doing it for my pleasure, too...

Walk away, IMO. Better yet...run. Are your wants and needs are of less importance than his? "He has been very clear that his happiness depends on having Jane as a life partner, (which may or may not include me - that’s my choice). He says I am being obstructionist by expressing concerns and...

So you reached out to older family friends for help processing your sexual abuse, and the husband slept with you in a secondary situation...hopefully you were "allowed" to be with others," (just not that married/cheating guy.) Either way, I'm sure that reaching out to them was a moment of...

Your partner possibly felt he had to disconnect from you emotionally to deal with you having other partners. For me (I'm more mono-leaning, and I learned this the hard way) I have to disconnect quite a bit in order to even WANT to pursue others. Frankly, if I'm given enough impetus to actually...

I'm honestly mystified when poly people think that a long term partner and new partners ought to be considered "equal." You put how ever many years of work, time effort, growth into your partnership, then some some exciting new person comes along who hasn't done all that work, hasn't spent all...

But...does the OP want that? His wife reaps all the benefits of having two attentive partners.....Fernie, what are you getting out of this arrangement? Does it bring you any joy? Or is it all just displacement, demotion and intrusion? If you're mono-minded, you might not be so stoked to have...

Even if you logically know you're not being replaced, I imagine it feels like an outsider is being invited into your marriage, into your family. I know when my now ex-boyfriend started getting serious with another woman, I felt resentment that this person I hadn't chosen now had her energy...

Sure, it definitely happens. But with poly, you're INVITING it to happen. Greatly increases chances.