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lol!! haha. Thanks for making me smile ;) it is good to remember that just because someone tells you that you are the cause of the universe coming to an end, doesn't mean it is true. Geesh! And the best way to stay out of drama is to STAY OUT OF IT! Thank you, all. [[humble hugs]]

Thank you for these quick replies. I have long been seeing red flags, but because this is my first poly relationship I wasn't sure if I was reacting to something unhealthy, or just reacting to my learning curve with polyamory and metamour issues. An awful consequence of all of this is that I'm...

Well, my saga continues. And I just want to reiterate my gratitude for the members of this community! You all really helped me to see that everyone needs to determine (and then communicate) his or her own boundaries. It was based on your collective advice that I determined for myself that I do...

Thanks, Nadya. Super helpful. In her view of relationship anarchy, choosing to use condoms with one partner over enough is indicative of hierarchy. So she feels that because everyone "has been tested," therefore, no one should have the need to choose one partner over another. I think if...

Sigh. I keep feeling like I'm getting a handle on this. But then maybe not. I appreciate what people are saying about everyone needing make individual choices about their own safety. No, of course a handshake and such is not sufficient to build trust. But I'm trying to be open and examine all...

Hi everyone. I am so grateful that you have all shared your thoughts. It really has helped me so much. My partner and I have been talking a lot about this issue and it was really through many of your postings that I've been able to get clarity for myself. I was able to see that I was upset...

Wow, I am filled with so much gratitude for everyone's perspectives. This has helped me so much. Especially the firm but kind reminders that everyone needs to set their own limits and boundaries--and not dictate any one else's. I guess I'm wondering what people usually do when they add a new...

Thank you!! I sort of wouldn't either. Only I came around after they had already been seeing each other. So she feels it is unreasonable for *her* to have to be the one to use condoms. She sees my partner (a.k.a. her boyfriend :) and her new partner as equally important in her life, and from her...

Hi all, Thank you so much for these replies. The wide variety of responses is actually really helpful to see that there could be any number of reasonable approaches. My partner's girlfriend and her new partner both have been tested. They are also nice people, I'm sure; I haven't met them. But...

Hi, friends. This is my first poly relationship and my first post to this forum. My partner's girlfriend (he and I are primary, but she was there before me, so I think she has some understandable resentment) recently started a new relationship. My partner and I are fluid bonded, and he is also...