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What I wote about by husband that London quoted, was a few weeks ago and a lot has happened since then. My spouse still likes him as a friend, and I still might be with him again eventually, but he agrees stuff was too messed up for me to carry on a romantic relationship right now. He thinks BF...

In all fairness, he was also dragging me into it with play by plays etc.

yeah, we'll see. we termed it a break, but it all depends on what happens. I care so much because I love him so much

so...since she said she was leaving, then took it back, and hes just going along for the ride I got off the train. feel pretty shitty

I do not berate or belittle him. I may have lashed out in anger a few times, but that is entirely human. I realize you don't see us as "primaries" so I do not think we are going to have any of the same view points here.

I guess this seems harsh but true....but I'm not ready to walk away either. I contemplating fading into a friendship....my sexual attraction is gone for the moment and that makes me sad. I suppose, if one wants to stay on as a houseboy to reap the benefits of long term friendship (and for you...

My BF and I also work together and yeah it would be weird if one of us picked a new partner at the office...but we also have a VERY small office. We fell in love here and it does feel a bit like "our" space, but I hope that if he had a new partner here at work or anywhere I could accept and...

Making him choose seems harsh...I am giving him the option of us staying together or moving on. And the other things you mention are doubtful, she has multiple lovers and other interests aside from him. I don't think she wants him at all, but to keep him as a houseboy

NYC, I really like youre last few pieces of insight. I hope what happens today still rings true to what you said above and before that post. We talked and I told him I cant find anymore, I also can't stay in a relationship where I feel im on back burner while he chases an unloving spouse. I...

All I can say is proceed with caution. I got weird/mixed signals from the wife right from the beginning....and now we are all miserable. If I could take it all back, I would. I want a partner with a spouse I can at least be cordial with, but even better be friends. (like my partners are)

Thanks for your input. :) I'm curious. Does he talk about her to you, and involve you in anything, like, say, "We can leave for dinner in 30 minutes, but first we have to do XYZ for Sally"? Do people know they are apart? Do you have to spend any time with her? (That's the worst part, our...

welcome :) I hope your relationship is staying strong. Im at the end of the rope with mine, because he wont leave and I don't know if she will and its all kinda toxic. I think youre guy needs to let the past be the past

sort of....my boyfriend is going through a bad and separated time with his wife. I think all you can do is listen...and tell him to stop if it is hurting your relatuionship. I hear where you are coming from...BF's wife supposedly has good things to offer, but ive never seen them. its been two...

Update on the latest in this mess. I can't deal with him being with her anymore. The secrecy of people we are around not knowing we are together and they are not, and treating them like a couple to my face. Seeing her and having her treat him poorly, and him crumble. It's awful to watch. If...

I don't use condoms with either of my guys. One is my spouse, the other we did away with them, with spouses permission, when he was no longer sleeping with his wife and agreed to use condoms with everyone else. I can see where L is nervous because she doesn't know these people, but she is asking...

my guys are friends, so...yes. but his wife and I...not so much. he and his wife? even worse. I think ther eis always drama.

Hoyam, this is a tricky situation. When I asked my spouse to be poly he threatened to divorce me. I had to think long and hard about if I could be mono, while he thought about if he could be poly. I came to realize, for me, mono wasn't an option. I love him and I wanted to be married to him...

He has a couple siblings. One is being very supportive, and that seems to be helping. The other doesn't know anything yet. He needs more close friends. I think drawing closer to my spouse has been helping.

Totally agree. I think OP needs to be more honest with himself about what IS missing and what hes looking for. its not a bad thing. My boyfriends wife has pulled away...dramatically...and he will tell you hes ok they are friends, hes ok with no intimacy...but does he want it back? does he turn...

Thanks smiles, that is helpful. Right now, they have no connection left, no sex, no time together, etc. But I think you're right, he still loves her and he's holding onto the dream. I cant give him any more, because I have a good poly marriage. It's hard to feel like my good times with him help...