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Sure any time. Happy to help if I can x

I'm more ENM than poly... not for want of trying. So for me, it is totally possible to have a sexual relationship with a deep friendship without wanting or needing more. But I am incredibly independent emotionally, maybe to the point of being distant. Who knows? I guess my question to you is...

In my view its ENM. I feel its possible not to get emotionally attached...to a point. So far I have made some great friends who are or have been previous lovers. However, I am open to explore loving poly relationships too. ENM within a pre-existing relationship can be wonderful, but a huge...

Can I ask does that mean Ben and Sofia will also cool it for now too?

I'm so sorry that you are going through this. It sounds awful. I will reiterate what others have said, however. See a counsellor asap. They will help you talk through your feelings and help you see clearer about yourself and what you need. Please take legal advice too, especially regarding your...

Congratulations 🎊

In my view, I wouldn't expect very much time from anyone after only 4 months, especially if they had an ongoing nesting partnership. Surely relationships have to evolve.

Wow. That is frankly awful. The way the relationship imploded is not, in my view, love. But being besotted in my view is not necessarily love either. I feel empathy for his other partner too.

This seems difficult, with maybe misunderstandings and underlying resentments all round. I have a SN child. And I'm a single parent. My partner (who I do not nest with) travels for work, staying in nice hotels at amazing locations. I went on one of his business trip to an island in the Med and...

In my view, if you feel unable to tell the people you love and trust about this relationship, and you know they would be concerned for you, maybe you have your answer. Run and don't look back. Keep your communication about your children only. Work on your own life without him. To me it sounds...

I would like to ask again if your bf and his wife have children and whether there is an age difference. Understanding this can give an insight into possible issues As an example, I have been seeing a man who has, like me, a partner and children. We are both similar ages, not that we have to be...

This must be hard for you. But I have to ask, how long have you been seeing your bf? Also, is there any age difference? Do your bf and his wife have children? I only ask for context.

Interesting post, JaneQ. In my experience in swinging, yes, M/F couples hold privilege. However, single women are at the top of the (unicorn) pile, with single men at the bottom. Swinging sometimes puts the patriarchy upside-down. with women calling the shots. However, I have also seen men...

Hi Bluebird. I am so sorry you are going through this. My heart goes out to you. I love reading your blog and I'm sorry to post on it. I am not sure this will help at all but my 60plus old aunt has recently had abdo surgery (in Europe but not UK) for gyne cancer. She was tested throughly before...

Hi there. I/we swing, but it is such a broad term. I have met dear friends whom I love deeply through swinging that I no longer have sexual contact with, but they come to my family gatherings, etc. We have friends who connected through us that have varying degrees of relationships between each...

I am ENM, moving into poly slowly. I've had quite a few threesomes and more-somes with my partner, and before that, once with another partner. That one was awful. I felt as you did, left out and ignored. I actually left them to it. Let's just say that relationship did not work. I suggest you...

I take your point, however, 'prostitute' was never polite and was used in the UK much earlier than the 1970s, apparently used here since the 1500s here. It has only been very recently replaced with sex worker which gives the recognition that people in sex work are actual workers. Which they are

It's why I have my own home, bought and paid for, own job, car, etc. In my view, it's imperative that women are financially independent as much as they can be. Dependence, whether financial or emotional, can be perilous for women. However, I have met wonderful 20-somethings. One came to a...

In patriarchal societies there is a power imbalance, with women earning less, having less power in the workplace, and being the primary caretakers (for children and adults). Men have privilege in society that women don't, generally. Add age to that and it tips further. Yes, there are exceptions...

In the UK, prostitute has always been a pejorative word. It's why UK police forces have to use the term sex workers now... in public. at least. Prostitute was seen (quite rightly) as demeaning and derogatory and led to people being seen as 'less than.' FWIW, the people I know who work(ed) use...