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I was in this very situation about 5 years back. Disclaimer: We broke up, I moved out. My advice: Prepare yourself to have less of your bf's time, attention an energy. "Detangling" is the word you'll hear. Get used to doing more things on your own, or with people who aren't your bf, so he has...

Pretty sure they were being clever with "monotonous." But it makes me want to respond. If you find monogamy monotonous, you're doing it wrong. There are plenty of ways of finding variety and spontaneity within a monogamous r'ship.

Why do you think your friend is offering you her husband? Is she enthusiastically poly, and experienced at poly, and thinks you'd be a great partner for him, and wants you as part of her family? Or is she less enthusiastically poly, they are newbies, you're an experiment, and she hopes...

Obviously, you are being abused. Get help immediately. Do not discuss with him, do it at a time when he isn't around, do not tell him or anyone else who might tell him where you are going. Seriously, run.

DJZiggy, I'm a woman, kinky and bi, but nothing you say resonates with me because I don't "hint" or "joke" about my kinks or my sexuality with my partners. I come right out and tell them what I want and need. I do this quite early in the dating stage so there needn't be guesswork from either of...

Clearly, you are in "poly hell." Why stay in a relationship that feels bad? If you can't eat or enjoy your life, it's a clear sign it's time to move on. You don't have to do poly if you don't want to, but that means leaving your wife to find someone who isn't in love with someone else. She's...

If I may be frank, I think the expectation that you'll meet a woman who is willing to date long-distance, then uproot her life and move out to a remote area to be with you and your wife....Well, the only kind of woman willing to do that would probably be someone who didn't have much going on in...

If you aren't romantically or sexually attracted to your partner, is it really fair to keep him around? I understand he wants to be there, but perhaps he (and you) are just scared to be alone? Maybe you're poly. Maybe you needed more time to be single and explore different possible partners...

When I was in my early 20's (I'm 50-something now) I was in a MFF triad that lasted nearly 2 years. At the time, it was my longest, most profound r'ship. I was dating the guy, then the girl joined our friend group, we both started seeing her separately, then throupled up. We were all sleeping...

10 years ago, my mostly-monogamous marriage was fairly dead. I fell for a person in my friend group who was poly & forced open my marriage, fully meaning to stay with husband while engaging with others. Hubby didn't want poly, though, it really brought him low. And, in truth, I didn't want an...

I'm purely speaking from personal experience, here, but for me, the deeper I got into being a submissive, the less poly felt suitable. It's a deep, soul-shaking thing to truly submit to someone. I know plenty of people can do "pick up play" with strangers or separate kink from love, but I've...

Confront her. Calmly, but insist she be honest as to what she has done and/or is planning to do. Only she can answer your questions.

My last r'ship, he wanted poly, I really didn't. I'd been poly in my younger days, but was starting to realize what I really wanted was a level of companionship & commitment that did not feel present for me in poly. I went along with it for a few years, waiting for him to realize I was all that...

Why stay in a marriage or relationship where your needs, physical and romantic, are not met? You keep putting more into your marriage, hoping something different will happen, but it doesn't. You're still not getting the passionate sex you crave, and you wife has led you to believe sex with...

As a woman, I cannot speak for your wife, because I value different things from your wife. Things like good communication, honesty, closeness & togetherness. Maybe she doesn't know what she likes sexually & she's experimenting. Maybe she doesn't really want to be partnered, she wants to do what...

It's okay to want a partner that you wake up to every morning, who doesn't take romantic weekends away with someone else, who doesn't have sex with other people, but that isn't a poly relationship. Realistically, you will lose parts of your marriage by opening up. Most likely scenario: you will...

I understand you would like to keep your family together, but I don't see how continuing to try to cajole a man who wants another woman into NOT wanting her is going to work. More importantly, what YOU want is a man who chooses you over other women who tempt him, a man who is NOT toggling two...

Maybe in the past 15 years, you've changed, grown, more fully become who you are. And the person you are becoming is NOT interested in being with a partner whose attentions are divided between multiple women, invested in other women's children. I did poly in my early 20's, again in my early...

Now you know, don't date poly people. You want a monogamous relationship with someone who is not beholden to or seeking other partners. Again, it's ok to want someone's undivided attention. Poly isn't enough for many people. Block this dude & move on to greener pastures.