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Our date went well. This was at a bar I used to go to back in the day. They took over the parking lot so we could all sit outside. I brought my own chair. She knew a lot of people there and had to tell them to stay back. It was fun to get out but it wasn't something I want to do on a regular...

I think when we talk about disentanglement we are talking about a level of entanglement that at least verges on codependency. Dingedheart seems to have conflated that with any level of entanglement.

But I thought we were talking about entanglement in a bad way. Couples having common interests isn't anything to worry about Read it again. I said it's NOT about that. In other words, a couple is too entangled if they don't have any activities they do on their own. I view financial...

Entanglement has nothing to do with finding activities you enjoy doing together. It's more about never finding activities you enjoy doing apart. Or even never being apart. Disentanglement isn't about never doing anything together. The thread about the anniversary weekend has nothing to do with...

While I was typing that last entry she texted me. There is some outdoor thing with a band she knows. I'm going to meet her there later. She's taken to calling me "Sir" and "Master" in a playful way.

There is no rush to have sex. She works for the county school district so she has been off work since March. This is the first she has been out at all. I am fairly confident she's not infected. She had a test for antibodies and it came back negative. So we met down by the beach and got some...

I agree. A's lack of money is a byproduct of his personality traits. I think you are finding some of those traits to be unattractive. You don't owe A a marriage just because you met him first.

I am meeting someone down by the beach today. I met her through the facebook dating app. We met on Tuesday in a park for a picnic lunch. We both brought our own food and sat about 6 feet apart. I don't really use the FB app much. I only look at it if I get a like. My profile is very simple...

Allow? Seriously, it is using finances to punish her. Do her a favor and leave. You obviously don't love her. Are you just getting off on punishing her?

That first paragraph is what rubbed me the wrong way. What a way to do poly. Truck your wife to say things in text that you can use against her so you don't have to give her money in a divorce.

This is something I've never had to worry about because all my relationships are separate. There is no inviting along a partner's partner. Just do with each one what they can afford to do. Money doesn't mean a whole lot, hopefully. I mean, hopefully you aren't comparing the two based on that.

I totally agree with you, especially on that last part. The controlling part comes in when the one holding the wallet decides they don't want their partner to spend any of the money allocated to them on dating. That is a classic patriarchal attitude. He is basically punishing her. He's saying...

Yes, but at the same time, both of you sort of sprung it on them, right? I mean OP and hubby made plans for a one night anniversary celebration. To fault OP for making plans after that is ludicrous because life goes on after one date, celebration, or whatever. Maybe there would have been no...

What is the set budget? That she can do whatever as long as she's putting no money towards the other relationship? OP hasn't indicated she's going nuts and draining the bank account or anything. He is complaining that she is spending anything at all, not anything outside a budget. Since we...

A lot of the responses aren't going to seem nice to you because people aren't cheering you on. These are things you still need to hear though. I agree you need a rewind, but probably not for the same reasons you think you do. The two of you should never have attempted poly to begin with...

As a guy who's always been the breadwinner, I understand where he is coming from. It would feel weird. He probably felt like he was taking advantage by not contributing what he is accustomed to. You did the right thing and hopefully eased his mind about that.

I am surprised people are advocating holding finances over a partner as a means to control their behavior.

I wouldn't assume they don't have an anniversary of some sort as well. More importantly, should the squeeky wheel get the grease? I don't believe in rewarding bad behavior by giving in to the person who whines the most... lol

I don't think you are being a dick. Hubby's not really being a dick either, unless he's going to make it a whole thing. If I was in Hubby's place I would be happy that we got to spend time together in a hotel. I wouldn't pay back Boy by kicking him out. If I was mono I might expect to celebrate...

Hmmmm...my first thought is that if someone needed space it would not involve me moving out of my house. If she needs space, it is up to her to find that space. But that is me. I have no idea about your dynamic or what actually happened. Hopefully she is in therapy for this? That is a pretty...