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I don't feel the need to see a lawyer. Actually, I think I will simply agree to be represented by my husband's lawyer for the divorce. (That is possible, and rather common.) Unless we really get into a financial or custody battle. Which I am very much trying to avoid. My husband may say some...

That's changed. He is now more willing to separate. Maybe. I am really not sure. He certainly does not want to listen to me when we are talking, the two of us, only. Maybe. He thinks that I have to change, not him. But we will see. I don't think he wants to do much. He is pretty much on...

Yes, I could and probably should have solved my stress problem all by myself. Doing exactly that: solving problems by myself (problems where I had the expectation that my husband would contribute to the solution) is something I have grown accustomed to over the years of this relationship. It is...

Thank you, Emm! And thank you, GalaGirl, I really appreciate your posts in general. You have that gift to make me see things very clearly. I will try to respond to some points later. And no, my husband and I have not filed for divorce, yet. We have tried to sort out our finances. We haven't...

Yes, sorry Shaya, I thought about this, yesterday, already. I have contacted an admin to do this, now. Didn't intend to hijack your thread like this!

I really have no idea. I talked to my therapist about it. (I actually usually don't see her anymore. She once helped me deal with a big loss.) She says it was probably a power struggle. A close friend of mine thinks he is just insanely stubborn.

Sure, I can give an example. Our last major fight was on how to handle the situation of two relatives visiting us. First of all, I like visitors in our home, and my does husband, too. We often host strangers (couchsurfing, hospitality club; also often more than two at a time). We like spending...

I have few true statements in the quiz... three... very low score. At first, my husband and I would never fight. We both see no point in fighting about things that many other couples fight about. A flipped toilet seat? Whatever. Cleaning the kitchen? Whatever. He wants his female friend to stay...

Salt's wife is bugging Salt about coming out about loving me in front of his parents. I can see why she is doing it. Her in-laws have never been particularly nice to her. For some reason, they don't seem to like her. They have given her a hard time before. And they are very conservative when it...

I am not a native speaker of English. I would phrase things about love a bit differently in my own language. We have a third category of "love", to make it more complex. ;) When I write about falling in love, I indeed mean having a crush on someone. But I guess, I am a bit different than, for...

I am getting tired of typing "the other man." It is three words. And the term that people in my introductory thread referred to him, "old flame," is also still two words, and I frankly just don't like it. I think of someone else when I think "old flame." I will refer to him as Salt, from now on...

A year.... I don't know. Maybe. I have a hard time putting a date on it. The six months aren't a "and then on that day, I am going to see him!" kind of thing, either. But I don't think it will end up being an entire year. For me, it feels like it is just my nature to love more than one person...

I guess that's just my husband. He never does rash decisions.

Definitely my idea. My husband could probably go on with our relationship as it has been... til death may part us? I don't know. Something like that. Are you asking what is his motivation to remain in a relationship with me despite me obviously wanting to do things that he does not want me to do?

Leaving for a new job would affect the relationship with my daughter and my husband/her dad, who wants to keep her close. It would not affect the new relationship at all. That is long distance, anyway. Okay, four hours less are four hours less. But overall, it doesn't change much. I wouldn't...

I know that you are in principle correct. And I wish I could find another job here. I am a highly specialized scientist. I started working for my husband because it was the only option here, in the first place. New job means moving at least 4 hours train-ride distance, which would be ok if there...

Thanks, Kevin. I can't always get what I want. I guess that's just life. As to the other questions: yes, in a way, it is going better than I had expected. But my expectation was much affected by the similar situation with my ex-boyfriend all those years ago. From that experience, I had expected...

Hello everyone, on recommendation of MeeraReed, I open a thread here, in addition to my thread in introduction, pretty much evolving around the same topic: my relationships. I copy from http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=89115 : ... and couple of posts later, me again: My...

Oriente baxter Hi Shaya, I feel bad for not writing a response to your posts - because I did find it very useful what you wrote. I spent a lot of time reading, following links. And I am still not ready to write my thoughts about it all. I am very aware of DeepBlue, the chess program. I live...

No. No, you haven't lost me. It is just hard to write a response. I will. With time. You wonder how that reconnecting happened. After some years of no contact, the other man had started calling me. We had this "love from a distance", "be ok with seeing the other one have a happy life" thing...