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Interesting reply. Yes, I think there is always some kind of spillover even in the first case. Maybe I should make it a little more specific. It seems typical that if you are together with one person, and then meets another person and get a crush on her, then the two attachments would compete...

I'm just wondering how the attachments that people that have multiple partners work. As I perceive it, there are two possibilities: 1. The attachments to each of the partners are independent. This would mean that there are multiple independent attachments that are largely independent. Thus, if...

I'm mostly looking for people that have similar experiences. I'm not really looking for advice, and I won't post the specific circumstances why I know there is mutual interest.

Well, I also tried to figure it out, but couldn't. I know I'm unable to approach a girl I'm romantically interested in, and I have to pretend it is general socialization if I want pursue it that way. However, even if I had the guts to go up to talk to her, I would still not be able to talk about...

Sure, it could be a great way for verbal people for making new acquaintances, but then such people already have everything their way so they really don't need it. For somebody that is shy and not so verbal, it's a total drag, and this is the one's that would need additional ways of getting to...

Yes, that is a valid objection. I won't deny that if one of the parties is not into the game, it could become stalking if the one playing the game is not reading the signals correctly, or out-right ignores them. But then we no longer have a situation with mutual interest. Besides, as seems to...

No, it was not creepy. It was a wonderful story. This is kind of what I'm talking about. We've had people here claim "just go up and talk". Seems easy enough (for most people it is easy and natural), while others simply cannot do it that way. Why can't we respect people that need alternative...

Judge? Since it wasn't stalking, nobody reported anything. In fact, it cannot be stalking when there is mutual interest.

I'm not really interested in sexual relationships (I'm basically asexual), and I live in a monogamous marriage since more than 20 years. Although, it appears both wife and me are polyamorous, so I experiment a little with this, without necessarily wanting anything else than a friendship with a...

I've tried online dating (mostly for fun), but I didn't get any compatible answers, which I suspected I wouldn't. I filled out a survey for the dating site (eHarmony), but apparently they were unable to suggest proper matches. So, no, I never did any serious online dating, and if I wanted to...

Didn't say you had, but speed dating is the extreme version of typical dating, which I'm sure you have been doing. The extreme version on the other end of the spectrum is this original post, which you called stalking. Edit: Maybe it can be interpreted as if I did say you had speed-dated, which...

Typical people play another game that I have no interest in, and that they use to weed me out. Perfectly valid for me, as I don't want to suffer in relationships with typical people. It only gets kind of disgusting when typical people call our mating-game for stalking. Especially when they have...

For me it is a great way to weed-out incompatible people quickly. If you can't or won't play the game, I have no interest in you. :)

In ordinary people's minds it does. I know because I have researched it. Being asexual and liking intimate relationships is negatively correlated. Intimate relationships is also linked to making love, so in ordinary people's mind these are similar things. It will give people the wrong associations.

Don't understand. If oxytocin is related to bonding in both bonobos and humans, then it doesn't have a special function in humans. Oxytocin is a brain chemical, and has nothing to do with what behaviors activates bonding.

I'm cooperating with professionals on this. The next published study will be a joint venture. Sure. The big question is if I'm still alive when this comes in text-books. :-) Never said oxytocin is not involved in bonding. Actually, I have no interest in what chemicals do what in the human...

I think that voyeurism is related to exhibitionism (obviously, if you have one, you need the other as well), and that both of these are not related to sex in the traditional way (sexual intercourse for bonding). Technically, they are paraphilias.

Polyamory: "The practice of building multiple intimate relationships at a time with other consenting adults." I don't think this is a good definition, as "intimate" in most people's mind means sex, and thus this definition again excludes asexual polyamory. I would prefer: "The practice of...

You are one case, and one case cannot be used to infer they are related more than by chance. You need a larger sample in order to do that. Besides, I just argued the same way as people did here in relation to BD/SM and role playing being related to polyamory. I discarded my own data and...

That's incorrect. The definition of polyamory does NOT include sex. It does include love and emotional attachment, but sex is optional (not in the definition).