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Writing helps me collect my thoughts, and reading back what I wrote seems to help clarify things, plus getting advice is awesome also. Gunnysacking? (had to look that up) perhaps a bit with this particular situation, but in general that's not a behavior common to me. That doesn't seem like a...

Almost poetic... haha

I agree, I'm trying to find out where I can make her feel safe enough to share what shouldn't be a big issues (I think the previous circumstances have colored all of this in an abnormal light). I think we are about 5,000 miles from great communication, but at least we have reached "acceptable"...

what if it was difficult to communicate it? THere are some very un-compassionate responses here... there's always more than one side of the story... Nothing is ever so simple, I thought this forum would deeply understand that? I'd say the more important thing to you is, are you willing to...

well said

the "mind goblins" got to me, I felt like something ws up so I snooped in her phone... someting I've never done in the 6 years we have been together. I found her pet name for "the other guy" and that all text messages had been deleted.. I confronted her and found out she has still been...

Thanks for the leads, more reading and watching in my future ;)

It's really against human nature to come and write about how everything is working out , or everything is amazing.. Ive read a lot of interesting articles, but are there any threads that focus on the great aspects of Poly living? I know relationships are not all of life, but it seems like...

Fiat

zero experience, but from what I've been reading you don't really change or "get rid of" (or at least a lot of people dont) those types of feelings, you just accept them, distract your self and realize they do not make sense. I'm struggling very hard with this myself right now, logically it...

Was that belittling?? There are over 100,000 people where I live that are excluded. Just seems a bit confrontational to throw a WTF at something that seems like a very reasonable oversight... I never heard about poly until a few months ago, getting upset that everyone doesn't automatically know...

a bit touchy, eh? The place I live isn't listed on most websites for shipping, I don't find that insulting however...

trivial

The weird part about relationships is that with held information can mean NOTHING to one party, and EVERYTHING to the other... Clear the air ASAP... You don't want would would happen if this is one of those "big things"... I've been through something that My wife did not think was a big deal...

hardest part is,... she probably did it completely with out thought for you, you were not who she was trying to hurt, she was just trying to fulfill sexual desires. It's hard to keep that in mind... or at least it is for me :cool:

obfuscation

code

Seems a bit impatient, impulsive and lacking in compassion. the "we video'd it to be safe" lie is a bit much though... she can't even be honest then? (I'll assume it's a lie, because it's a bit absurd sounding).

Seems pretty black and white. What if it makes logical sense, but emotionally your conflicted? Cognitive dissonance is very common in humanity; I feel of two minds on the topic.

I was the exact opposite, I encouraged emotional connections and was horrified when it turned into sex (duh. of course it would have...)