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My 10,000 word response just got ate by the forum and I'm not sure I have it in me to reply that fully again. I obviously painted her in a terrible light, she is not currently seeing the other guy, she stopped when I asked her to and canceled the trip she was planning to see him. we are...

Well we had briefly discussed it, and I was uncomfortable, which she noticed so she didn't feel comfortable discussing it.. then she just did it. But either way, that's past. Point is, I think our relationship was just probably the furthest possible from being ready for a move like this, and...

We are working on just us right now, she has cut off contact with the "other" while we do this and I've talked to him and he understands (she lied to him and said the two of us had an open relationship). Obviously the cheating was a symptom of the relationship going sideways and our break down...

I'm SUPER HESITANTLY re-assessing my definition of relationships, sex, intimacy and possessive feelings because I'm "forced" (ok, not really) to due to my partner having decided that our relationship wasn't making her happy (due to a LOT of things that were my fault) and that (secret) Poly would...