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I think if I were in Biffs position it would not be apparent to me that this grasp for control over my autonomy wasn't simply rooted in insecurity.. It reminds me of a thread a while back where a man tried to limit the penis size of the partner’s other relationships - like - "You can date other...

I wholeheartedly agree with this, it’s another reason to bring resolution into what people mean by dating someone in their “twenties”. I think big changes in life happen between 20 and 29, generally speaking. Would you also set an age limit for a meta?

I’m not sure where this is coming from because my partners are both very near to my own age. We are all in our 30s. By your standards I’m less of a creep than the man you are dating…

Circling back to the OP's situation, the meta in question is 28. Would you have the same concerns about a meta who is almost 30?

You are allowed to not to be okay with this. The level of disrespect and manipulation described here is extreme. Do you have friends or family you can stay with, even temporarily, so that you can evaluate what has been happening to you?

Quoting me won't make your argument fetch any better. Can we aim for a discussion with substance? As that post was about the broader human experience, beyond polyamory, yes the world as it operates today is still quite misogynistic.

From the perspective of a cishet dude in his late thirties, I do have more opportunities to date age twenty-something women today than I ever did when I was twenty-something myself. I don't know if this is a typical aspect of aging or if there is a societal shift, but it was quite apparent when...

I believe Hugh Hefner's wives have spoken out.

One of the earlier posts from pftsh was about the societal messages that older women be put out to pasture once they hit a certain age. That statement, in addition to what you are saying, paints the opposite picture of women increasing in power as they age, doesn't it? We can all imagine the...

These... are red flags.

In that case, wouldn't it go both ways? An older woman would have all of those things over a man half her age.

I thought it was probably referring to income, thank you for confirming... By that same logic it would be inappropriate for a middle aged high-earning man to date a middle aged low-earning woman. Is that right? I am not quite sure where age fits into the power equation unless it's based solely...

Why is there a power imbalance between older men and younger women? Is power a function of age? Are you saying older women are more “powerful” than younger women?

I don’t think the dad has herpes from a one time oral encounter. I understand it’s quite unusual to contract HSV-2 above the waist. This herpes business all began with a one sentence response I made directly to Mag’s in disagreement about the herpes virus itself being an inconsequential...

I think this is a good example of how messy lists are used to control people and limit their autonomy. For the record I don’t like the messy list concept to begin with, so can definitely see why Blue is struggling with the Red and Luc situation.

I do think I understand what you’re saying. I think your saying that because precautions should already be in place the disease is irrelevant. I do have a different perspective. I do not think precautions make disease irrelevant. And not just with herpes, that is my general perspective. For...

The OP probably knows if dad already has herpes. If so, maybe it’s irrelevant. But if dad does not have herpes it could be relevant. I am the offspring of a neonatologist. I have myself worked in NICUs and L&D, I’m not a medical professional. But I have been at the bedside. I know these...

Maybe some people feel more passionately about being able to kiss a newborn. Maybe OP needing to restrict father from kissing the newborn is relevant to them. Different people feel differently about this. As new herpes infections are usually less controlled, harder to diagnose, miss-diagnosed...

It’s a human disease so it’s relevant to everyone. Poly or not. In my life the only person I have encountered saying herpes is not a “real health problem” happens to be poly. And this person happens to be telling this to a pregnant person, and that is why I am speaking up at this moment in time...

None of that changes the fact that newborns die from herpes infections every year. Herpes keratitis causes blindness in adults and it’s probably more common than you realize. About 40,000 cases of blindness annually according to the NCBI. Is that significant enough to be relevant for poly...