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Herpes is far more than an “annoyance” for neonates.

So you asked her out for a drink, and then backpedaled and told her the invitation was unintentional? And then you degraded yourself by calling yourself a simp? You said all this to the women you are interested in poly-dating. Yes?

It sounds like your head is going into monogamous territory. Becoming a couple looking to share a third, and telling him to remove the ex completely…. This is hardly ENM/Poly. My mono-typical advice would be that this guy is hanging around with the ex because despite the toxicity, it’s worth...

I was not trying to make a judgement about him. I was sharing that about myself to provide more insight about why this wouldn’t be a red flag for me. Polyamory, in and of itself, has been a poor indicator of compatibility for me, so it doesn’t have much of a weighting factor in my...

If your happy, I’m happy for you.

I think sometimes our judgements are in error. In this case, the error might be assuming everyone who has this different philosophy of poly would automatically be a “bad poly player." I don’t think this particular issue would be a red flag for me. But then again, I’ve dated mono people without...

Im not sure I understand... He is poly, so he seeks poly partners because he doesn't want to be monogamous. That makes sense.. right? And he views metas as a downside of poly? Okay that makes sense, metas can be a pain sometimes... Don't we all make sacrifices to have the relationship...

I can relate to a lot of what has been said here but I will just share that the end of a marriage doesn’t have to be the end of a relationship. During my poly journey I found that I did not want to be married to anyone. So we ended the marriage, it was no big deal.

I think people in general are terrible at predicting outcomes and prone to catastrophizing predictions when it suits their own anxieties. I think messy lists are just another way to try and control and manipulate people. That is not to say concerns are invalid, concerns are valid, but that’s...

I am fairly tolerant of messy situations and perceived messy situations in general so I have no opinion about the situation itself. But to say your concerns are not "grounded in reality"... Did your wife actually say that to you? Because at best it shows severe short sightedness, and at worse...

I was thinking the same thing as others. Backpacking trip turned into a romantic couples getaway. Probably didn’t help that you weren’t totally upfront about it until after tickets were bought. Joe’s absence for “him time” turned into a sex on the beach fest for you pea. I could see Joe...

I think the level of disrespect of not inviting your entire family is understated here. Considering your out of the closet… I draw the line at respect. If I or my family is not respected, I don’t go. I don’t over think it or defend my lifestyle. In fact I recently skipped Bird’s family reunion...

For some reason, I hold the belief that sexual detachment is unlikely to reverse. While I lack factual evidence to substantiate this claim, I must acknowledge the potential bias arising from my own circumstances. However, it is worth noting that few individuals in situations similar to yours...

That would be HPV. The CDC states that HPV is responsible for 70% of throat cancers.

I do believe that there is a certain level of irony in paying someone to debate them about their own beliefs on polyamory. I almost fell into a similar trap myself once, but ultimately I had to remind my therapist that our discussions should be focused on topics that were conducive to my own...

It appears to me that your marriage was a conscious and deliberate reaction rooted in deeply ingrained cultural traditions. In my opinion, it reflects the conventional courtship practices prevalent in mid-20th century America. Although I may be naive in suggesting that such motives are...

There is a widely cited statistic that suggests that 20% of men in the dating pool engage in sex with 80% of the women in the same pool. Therefore, it appears that this phenomenon is not exclusive to polyamory since the dating market is naturally competitive, even for single men. I believe that...

I invited the government into one of my relationships and regretted it. I'd recommend against it, simply because I find it stifling. This goes for monogamous relationships as well. Of course, if you're living a traditional lifestyle with a house-spouse who sacrifices their career for home and...

I went through similar narrative with my partner Bird. I knew she was bisexual when we met in 2009 however she had never acted on those desires. A Decade later our sex life was fizzling out, Bird spoke of feeling pain and having different sex drives ect.. During that period it was difficult for...

I think there is a significant chance she is slowly leaving you. Giving you more than a year advanced notice is quite respectful so props to her for that. I think her statements about being mono with her bf is a red flag. As she entangles with the boyfriend he will likely have more influence...