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You're painting over my point, however, which is: I'm finding it necessary to make the distinction between people seeking an escape through submission as an addition to the life they're enjoying, and people seeking an escape through submission from a life they're unhappy with.

D/s-related observation: As someone who is usually a d-type seeking s-types, I find myself becoming sensitive to people who seem like, rather than "I'm enjoying my life and also I have a submissive side to express!" they feel like they're using submission to escape a life they aren't really that...

Regarding the question in the thread's title (assuming it wasn't rhetorical), my experience: I didn't really become aware polyamory was a thing people did, as silly as that sounds in retrospect, until recently. Like a lot of things—kink, neurodivergence—having some kind of language or example...

Been out of town; heading home tomorrow. Nice trip, but looking forward to being back in my own space. Been setting up a couple dates with new people via FetLife, instead of the vanilla apps I've been using. That's interesting, because even though the premise of kink play is built into the...

You know those games where you try to accomplish a thing in the minimum possible number of moves? I wonder what's the minimum number of posts I'd have to make to turn this thread into another discussion of cishet gender norms and their consequences. :unsure:

Go then, there are other worlds than these. I'm just saying, this sounds like you're a guinea pig for this couple's early, awkward foray into open relationships. You do you, but that doesn't sound hell-yeah awesome.

15. They spend no time whatsoever engaging in the sophistry of "women get more attention than men and it's not fair" To reply to the actual topic: I imagine this is true of any relationship configuration, polyamory, monogamy, etc. The "everyone does the inner work and supports everyone else"...

Thinking "I need to remain connected with her because, look! I'm concerned for her wellbeing. I'm doing this for her own good" is an easy, dangerous trap to fall into. Thinking it's about her makes it easy to forget the desire to stay connected is coming from your own feelings, not hers...

Everyone's mileage will vary, I suppose; I don't equate sleeping over, versus putting one's pants back on and taking an Uber home, as anywhere near the sort of escalation that you seem to be describing...?

I had a lot of learned stigma about mental illness when I first started going to therapy. I was going for anxiety. At some point I asked my doctor, rather defensively, "Look, I know I get anxious a lot, but is it really an anxiety disorder? Like, what makes it qualify as a disorder?" Her answer...

For the love of all that is holy please stop using the "word" "cule". 🤮 ...Some words just land on my ear like a hornet sting, I dunno why. See also any common abbreviation of "pregnant". ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ But, ahem, anyway. What does "familial portion of my direct relationships" mean?

I've always been fascinated by the fact that when you double a number repeatedly it gets very very big very very quickly. The way this was first introduced to me, as a child, was with a hypothetical like this: "Would you rather be given a million dollars every day for 30 days... or one dollar...

I've developed a new theory of gravitation: on a long enough timeline every thread on this forum will be pulled off topic by either People making fun of that AI chatbot guy Actual AI chatbots

This.

I disagree. In a situation like this where the power dynamics massively favour the people that OP is breaking up with, OP should prioritize their own safety and comfort.

YMMV, but I recommend leaving it as an entertaining memory. When I was 21 it was the coolest thing ever, at 41 it's cringe as fuck. 😝 I don't think that's quite true; I'm just getting started dating polyamorously. I have pretty good luck with dating in general, so maybe I have things to share...

How's that going, mate? I'm hoping you're on the road to eventually being SquishyVibrant.

It might be useful to define what you mean by "polycule" in this context. Are you looking for 10+ people that are all, to some degree, in relationships with each other — like a huge group relationship of some sort? Because if I'm dating Ben, and Ben is dating Claire and Dover, and Dover is...

😆 For someone who doesn't exist, you sure make a lot of snarky posts. 🖤

I just read lots and lots and then even more about Nest and what Nest wants. What do you want, OP?