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Hey! Thank you for the details. I'm gonna check that out. ...even if I just hover awkwardly at the margins of the group, at least Trout Lake is nice. 😜 Enjoy your bike ride!

Hey! You are not mis-remembering; I live in Vancouver. No, I haven't tried joining the local groups, I would like to. There was a beach meetup a few weeks ago that I was going to attend, but didn't. I think you and I have opposite versions of a similar problem: You're extroverted and lonely...

Songs of the night: Radiohead – Creep Lovesong – The Cure Cowgirl in the Sand – Neil Young, but covered by Annie Keating Amy Winehouse – What is it About Men

I dunno, you start putting vowels next to each other and it gets weird fast. 😂 ...I think most words are unhelpfully ambiguous and vague, tbh... Ok, I'll show myself out. 🤫

You know, this hasn't turned out to be true. She and I are still friends, we both get a lot of value out of our friendship, and while I still pine now and then for more, I wouldn't give up the good for the occasional discomfort. ❤️ I put the dating apps away, and think I'll keep it that way for...

I like this model a lot. 📝

Poor Evie. :( Hope you have a healing weekend.

Recommendation: Date separately before you try dating together. Make sure your relationship can withstand each of you having other relationships before trying to build a triad. If you struggle to support each other having autonomous relationships outside your own, it will be very, very difficult...

Hang on, adding this to my bingo card. 🤩

This exactly. I'm not gonna lie: having my own living space on the same property as a partner is sort of my (completely unrealistic in the utterly unaffordable location where I live) dream arrangement. Like, I'm not opposed to spending a lot of my time with someone, I just need to have complete...

Heh, and over here we have a steep, erect hill that's definitely not worth dying on... 😆

Yeeeah. Aside from not really wanting to cohabitate again, oh boy do I ever not want to entangle my finances with a partner if I don't have to. (am also in BC, by the way. 👋)

You shouldn't have built that sturdy cage and locked him in it, then. Seriously, though. If you will leave him if he re-escalates with his ex wife, and he re-escalates with his ex wife, then you will leave him. That's a boundary: merely a description of how you will behave in a given scenario...

Seriously. Like every conflict means either one person is an unredeemable shitbird, or the other person is an unredeemable shitbird. Bring nuance back to the internet, people. 😝

Came across a discussion about "knowing when you're in love" that's got me thinking — in extension to what I mentioned in the post above — about what "love" of various kinds means to me, how I'd define them, and what part that plays in the relationships I build. Worth some pondering and writing...

Whew, needed to get that out of my system. 😇 Meanwhile, I've had a nice Sunday morning — went to get some groceries and ended up also buying a stack of used books, and then found a side table someone was giving away, so I hauled that home. Going to try refinishing it for the outdoors and...

(More thoughts/commentary on relationship distress posts I can't seem to stop reading) It's truly awful how many people seem to think the worst thing they could possibly do in the world—worse than flipping off an entire basket of kittens—is to ever make another person the slightest bit...

I agree with you! :) In my opinion, the "too entangled" is about the emotional self-regulation, not the emotions themselves. How do you behave when your partner breaks with precedent? is the operative question. I think when people are "too" entangled (to do polyamory smoothly, anyway) they...

Counterpoint: I'm not with Adam. There is a through line in all of XJskyboy's posts where Adam has very poor emotional regulation around XJskyboy's dating/sex with others, and that is really a skill that needs to be improved to be happy and successful in polyamory. A common article (I don't...

Welcome, stranger. So, first: No, one member of a relationship cannot unilaterally make the relationship polyamorous. Relationships are agreements. That means the people in them have to agree. A breakup is pretty much the only unilateral change you can make to a relationship. But your husband...