Search results

Andy and I did our usual low key Valentine's day, bingeing on chocolate candy and watching cheesy 80s rom coms. Then tonight we went out for dinner and I are so much I actually got a stitch in my side, like when I first started running! So I've probably gained 5 lbs in the past 2 days. Feb 15...

On the deep-down messages and how do we move past them... For me, I have to be truly ready, truly wanting to change. Doing something because I'm "supposed to" or because it will please someone else just never works. I find myself digging in my heels, getting defensive, fighting the change, even...

Of the 6 guys I have been with since opening my marriage, 3 have called me slut in bed out of the blue. Enough to make me feel weird about not liking it. And only one of them (Dag) was considerate and kind when I got hurt by it. (Andy called me nympho and similar things a lot when we first...

Well. That is where I get into the swamp of "how much should I try to change my sexuality for others?" Because I don't have negative feelings around sex, in general. I don't have trouble enjoying the vast majority of sexual activities. Even the kinks that don't really do it for me... They are...

(((HUGS))) Sometimes endings (and beginnings and middles, too, lol) can be incredibly complicated.

I think looking at it from a "limiting" point of view is hard for Andy... But somehow it bothers him less if I ask for specific times to be just for me. Maybe just the difference between a negative and positive framing of things? I hate feeling like I am somehow punishing or shaming him for...

That would be my ideal... For me and my partners to do the things in bed that we both like, and to have other partners for the interests that aren't shared. But, real world :cool: Right now I don't have any other partners, and Andy is tapped out with me, work, and his "I'm processing childhood...

Finished Come As You Are last night. Overall, great book. Maybe not exactly the book I needed, though. It dealt mostly with meta issues, overall desire for sex, feelings about sex, and yeah I have some issues with that (who doesn't)... But the sexual "brakes" I struggle with most are not...

Live-blogging Come As You Are, continued... I am vain as fuck. Stress and fight or flight, yada yada, spent six years studying neuroscience, skim. Moral shame around sex, check, should definitely bookmark that section. Oooh I get to take my clothes off and look in the mirror YAY!!!! What's...

Maybe not surprisingly based on the above ;) the quiz in the book says I have a very sensitive sexual accelerator. Like, I would have scored the highest possible, except one of the questions related to menstrual cycle and I don't have one thanks to continuous birth control pills. At first I...

It's amazing to learn how different we all are. I LOVE to look at my partners. Gaze, admire, memorize... That's very erotic to me. Actually, I love to look at guys in general, not just their dicks, but yeah, those too! I am the rare girl who gets turned on by dick pics. If said dick is...

I finally worked up the nerve to start reading Come As You Are... It's like time travel to the early 70s, lol. Are there really still women who have not looked at their clit or labia? And wtf hand mirror... Camera phone, the better to preserve for posterity! I dunno, I do not get the "all...

Every night this week, I've woken up screaming from nightmares. Like, actual screaming. Scares Andy and the dogs to death, I feel terrible. Especially because I have no clue what's causing it. They're just bizarre stressy dreams. Being at work and finding a room full of babies that haven't been...

Damn it's been a long week. A good one, though. The dating break felt like drug withdrawal for the first few days. I craved the dopamine hit of likes and messages. Physically craved it. Sex, whatever, relationship, eh, but damnit give me those okc profile views :o Amazing how dependent I had...

Awww, thank you! I know it sounds silly but I am NERVOUS to read the book. I read a lot of sex-positive, love-yourself-the-way-you-are books when Andy first started doing the CD thing. And most of them were not helpful ... Hey, ladiez, it's ok that you can't come from penetration, no one can...

Thank you ... Yes they are. Especially because after hours of crying, Andy and I both just lose our ability to THINK about how our words will come across and blurt out hurtful things. We're usually better about considering how the other person will take something, choosing our words with care...

The weekend was awful. Awful but necessary, I think. Andy and I just had a three day cry fest, basically. I'm exhausted. The very short version is that my frenzied dating has really taken a toll on him. I have always known that watching me date was tougher on him than seeing me in a stable...

Thank you! I was a little concerned because the intro mentioned a chapter on "better orgasms" ... In general I'm really happy with my sex life, when I have a compatible partner, I don't feel like there's "fixing" needed there. And I get defensive when I feel pushed to do stuff, especially if...

I downloaded the free sample of Come As You Are already! Question, though, before I commit to the whole book... Is it more of an "understand yourself" book, or an "improve your sex life" book? I mean I get that the two go hand in hand a lot of the time. But right now, after all of the trying...

You know, what sucks the most about this is that I am getting nothing from Andy but "To Catch a Predator" jokes :mad: I don't think he understands that I'm genuinely sad. Yeah, it was only a couple of dates, and normally I shrug off things that don't pan out for whatever reason. But Draper ...