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  1. Dagferi

    How do you determine where to draw healthy emotional boundaries in a poly group?

    You do not have a meta problem... Your hinge is the problem and needs to stop allowing relationships to bleed over and affect the other.
  2. Dagferi

    Keeping other relationships alive while having a baby?

    I didn't get to pee or shower in peace for over 10 years of my adult life.... And I was blessed that Butch is a hands on dad. Heck everyone still comes and bugs me when I am in the bathroom.
  3. Dagferi

    The struggle continues

    You have not followed through with what you said you would do if he broke agreements so why in the hell would he change his behavior. You have taught him he can continue doing what he wants you may complain and threaten but have no follow through.
  4. Dagferi

    Keeping other relationships alive while having a baby?

    I have 3 children 25, 16, and 12.. The last 25 years of my life have revolved around my children. Everything I do has an effect on them. If Murf would have been antikids our relationship would never have worked.
  5. Dagferi

    The struggle continues

    It doesn't matter why others "need" poly in their life. They onnly thing that matters is that YOU do not want it in your life. Follow through with what you said and end the relationship with your husband. To thine ownself be true. People will treat you the way you allow them treat you. If your...
  6. Dagferi

    Fun and Frolic With Long-Term Love

    A black light will show cat pee on surfaces.
  7. Dagferi

    My Partner Won’t Tell Me About Her Sex with Other Partner

    What powerpuff said... It would be an invasion of privacy and trust for your girlfriend to share the private details of her other relationship with you. Her other partner deserves privacy. What is between them is between them what is between you two is between you two.
  8. Dagferi

    Secondary to married man. I shouldn’t put in as much effort?

    Why stay is a relationship that does not fit your needs or wants. Ending things doesn't mean he is a bad person or make you a bad person just incompatible. Life is too short to continue a relationship that doesn't chrck all the boxes. Why be miserable? Sometimes love is not enough.
  9. Dagferi

    How to handle snide remarks from meta?

    Some people, like myself, do not like people in their space. My husbands are the same way. Butch would go nuclear if I tucked Murf in sick on our couch and vice versa. My husbands feel that their homes are their sanctuary. As do I. So I do not bring the other partner into their safe space. I...
  10. Dagferi

    How to handle snide remarks from meta?

    Why did you invade her home while sick? I would not be happy about that in my home. I am asthmatic as are my children. Plus I am going thought other health issues. He could have taken care of you at your home.
  11. Dagferi

    Secondary to married man. I shouldn’t put in as much effort?

    If you do not want to be secondary in a relationship do not get into that sort of relationship. End things and find someone who can give you want you want and need.
  12. Dagferi

    Secondary to married man. I shouldn’t put in as much effort?

    GalaGirl put everything I wanted to say into words nicely. The only thing I would add is this. I do not know how old you are but adulthood is busy for a lot of us. Murf my husband is monogamous. On the days we do not see each other it is not abnormal not to hear from him. He works 12 hour...
  13. Dagferi

    Fun and Frolic With Long-Term Love

    As someone who is the spouse of a government employee I have one word of caution. Make sure that you have a huge safety net in place financially. Government shut downs suck bad. And there is nothing worse than not getting paid for weeks while two sides have a stand off. Especially if you are...
  14. Dagferi

    Multiple partners survey

    Not going to partake is a survey who views my relationship with my other husband as an affair/infidelity.
  15. Dagferi

    Parallel Polyamory with Partners who have Similar Interests

    I feel no need to mention that I have already seen something with the other partner especially if I know that the other is going to get hurt that the other got to do it first. If they ask me if I have seen or done X yet then yes I am going to answer honestly. But if they ask do you want to watch...
  16. Dagferi

    Parallel Polyamory with Partners who have Similar Interests

    Just do things twice. I do it all the time. No need to mention it to the other partner. I have watched shows twice. Went to places multiple times. Went to movies twice. Went to see the same band twice at different locations. It is no big deal.
  17. Dagferi

    Fun and Frolic With Long-Term Love

    I tired of the maintenance of coloring my hair. It got to the point the grey would not hold color. I cut my hair into an short angled bob with an undercut 15 months ago and helped fade my dye out using Prell shampoo. Found out quickly I am was not as grey as I thought. The silver does come more...
  18. Dagferi

    Fun and Frolic With Long-Term Love

    I tired of the maintenance of coloring my hair. It got to the point the grey would not hold color. I cut my hair into an short angled bob with an undercut 15 months ago and helped fade my dye out using Prell shampoo. Found out quickly I am was not as grey as I thought. The silver does come more...
  19. Dagferi

    The Notebook of JaneQSmythe

    Honestly the only reason I am legally married is to be eligible for survivors benefits including Butch's pension if he were to pass. Plus to be able to be on his health insurance. He is a state employee and being on his insurance has been the difference between financial bankruptcy and being ok...
  20. Dagferi

    Love from a poly person isn’t worth as much?

    I love both of my husbands very much. But I do not put one on a pedestal over the other.. Neither one has power over the others relationship with me. I split my time equally between homes I share with both. I own property with each man. I own pets with each man. I travel and share life...
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