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Kids The issue of paying for kids college is a state by state issue. Some states require it. Some states have a "presumption of legitimacy" law that says if you are married to husband and you have baby by secondary the baby is the child of the husband and not the secondary AND if you divorce...

You sound perfect! My wife and I are looking for similar poly relationships to what you mentioned. She is new to this and thinks, as I do, that the healthiest poly relationship is one that is mutually supportive.

I agree with Marcus I have been in dozens of threesomes and larger over 20 years and my experience is the same as Marcus. It's either all in sync or not. I find that the new person is always the focus of the excitement, but I agree with others here who say you must all focus on the new person...

Babies with secondaries Be careful. The legal pitfalls if your polyamory relationship falls apart will be difficult to resolve in a court of law not used to such open relationships. Also, the biological father of the child, your "secondary," would be on the hook for child support, health...

Heartfelt questions Your story is not unusual. It's hard to determine where your and your husbands boundaries lie without some trial periods. Your boundaries may also not be where you think they are. It's like using training wheels before you ride a bike. The best thing to try is find someone...