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So you serve these two hand and foot. You've given up your bed and your bedroom for them. You cook for them. You deliver the food to their door for them. You are almost certainly doing the cleaning, if they're busy in the bedroom 20 hours a day. And in response you get...insults, criticisms...

100% Yes. What should you do? Grow up and realize that exactly as Leetah said, you dropped an emotional bomb on someone who loved and trusted you, just as he's going into a critical point in his life. You'll be fine for a few weeks. Let him at least get through this.

Was he gardening naked??? Or touching himself after touching poison ivy???? Good luck on the job situation.

It looks like OP is not coming back, but I, too, would like to know why the driving need to convert others. How is this any better than Jehovah's Witnesses showing up on my doorstep telling me I need to watch their video on how their way is superior to mine and I must listen and I must convert...

My intention is never to hurt.

Do I understand this correctly? You and John had a secret affair. He cheated on her. You gladly, willingly took part in a man cheating on his long term partner and lying to her. When she found out, the two of you were ever so wonderful about 'helping her' 'accept' that he'd cheated on her...

ooooof course I didn't. Because if I did I would agree with you, right? Because if I did, I wouldn't possibly see any other side to the story, even though you said you wanted other perspectives. The other perspective is...were you listening to him at all? Were you valuing what he had to say...

Another perspective might be: instead of addressing the issues he raised, you dismissed him. He's white, he's male, he's cis, he's conservative, he's in a blue collar field, he's in a predominantly male field, which (Henry says) is a place of black and white thinking. Mightn't Old Friend have...

Very cool house! I love looking at real estate listings, too.

It's completely normal to feel amorous toward more than one person. This is nothing new under the sun. If feelings define a thing then the whole human race, with few exceptions, is polyamorous. The CHOICE to act on this attraction is what's being discussed here. I don't consider that an...

One of the problems people often run into with poly is the couple controlling and defining the terms for the secondary they bring in. You haven't even opened and you're doing it. The two of you are already setting this up as a date with him, talking about Friday being (now having been) a 'test...

It's an interesting point, though. Plenty of people have come here admitting they cheated only because they realized they were poly and didn't know how to tell their spouse and were afraid of bringing it up. In some of those instances, they've been met here with a very gentle attitude and great...

So what you really want is extra sex toys on the side for your boyfriend. Poly AMORY means multiple LOVES, as in actual loving relationships. I'm with Vinsanity and Marcus. This girl is acting like a normal human being. MOST people, when they spend time with someone, have sex with someone...

So you had a 'secondary.' It ended. Then your husband got a 'secondary.' Now there's a problem. Did he have his side dish while you had yours? Or did he only get her after you broke it off with yours? What was the argument about? It seems this might be important to the whole story and yet...

No, you don't NEED him. This is one of the things we learn as we mature: that there are many things we WANT but very few that we NEED. 15 year old girls believe they NEED the one they're infatuated with. As adults, we NEED to look at reality and how our actions are affecting others. Do you have...

Maybe with all the stresses and Dark Knight out of work, it would be a good time to cut back on caring for so many kittens, etc. It seems this would put a great stress on Punk Rock, who is at this time the sole financial support for the three of you.

You want a 'quality gal' and you want her to be content living in a separate house? Doesn't this make it clear that you and your wife are the true couple and she's the add on who can live separately and go to bed alone most of the week? Expectations have to be set about child rearing...between...

This to me, is shades of the anti-mono slant found in poly writing. Problems are too often attributed to the poor bumbling unenlightened mono not being secure enough, not being independent enough, being clingy, not having a life..... I will add, though, that when I was in a poly relationship, I...

Sorry, I respectfully disagree. There may be blame to go around, she may or may not be 'manipulative' (it wouldn't be unheard of that someone sleeps with a former boyfriend because she's still in love, rather than because she's manipulative) … but OP is certainly not an innocent victim...

You are absolutely correct. If she comes here telling the tale, that would be fair to say. "Hard lesson learned, honey, some guys keep sleeping with you as long as you'll let them and it doesn't mean what you think it means." But SHE is not here. HE is here, nd he's playing a bit of the victim...